I feel...

[ATLstudent]

I feel uphappy

I feel so sad

Ive lost the life, that i never had,

It was my dream, to lives these years

In my own skin, without these tears.

My love is lost, spinning round

In a cycle of confusion and doubt

My sexuality doesnt match my emotions

and my emotions do not match my erections.

I live in a enigma, something i can never fix or change

but something that pulls me in two different directions

Two selfish beast take the drivers seat and split me in half

They dont stop because they cant stop, until were both dead.

SO why am i living, what am i fighting for

I am just 23 and i look 34. What have i done to deserve this

Doesnt a right make up for a wrong, this life constantly makes me feel guilty\

for something i am not sure i did, But i see my life as punishment some days,

on others just a cruel world, but on the days i do see a god all i can ask is

whywhy why? What have i dont

but on my most days i live in my own mind and have no god

And on those days i realize that my life is quite painful to me

And i cant stand what has come to pass

Why me, why so much pain, have i caused this on someone elses life,

God...i hope not, but i am s o r ry ,