Feelings

[heatspreader]

Why am I so sensitive? One minute I am fine and happy then the smallest little thing will make me want to die. I always feel like I'm missing something. I think I enjoy complaining. Why do I always want attention? I don't think that is healthy. I haven't spoken to three of my best friends for several years. I would like to make new friends but it's just so hard to talk to people. That's one of the things that depresses me. I'm inadequate. I enjoy it so much when people talk to me but I don't know how to talk back. What kind of loser my age doesn't know how to communicate? Now I feel like I wanna die again. I don't really wanna die though. How can I want to die and not want to at the same time? Maybe it's not a feeling of wanting to die but I don't understand the feeling so I associate it with death. I don't understand a lot of things about myself. I feel crazy because I don't but I feel a lot more sane and stable than some people I know.

 

MY BIGGEST FEAR OF ALL IS THAT EVERYTHING I WRITE IS DUMB, MEANINGLESS, AND NOT UNDERSTOOD BY ANYONE BUT ME.

[waveseer]

I understood perfectly and have had moments such as the ones you described, you are not alone.

[heatspreader]

I want to be reborn into a different person, the one I am now isn't working out too well.

[IndigoEye]

Will get back with you. It's been a difficult week.

[IndigoEye]

How old are you?

[heatspreader]

I should just erase everything I've ever said. I am an embarrassment. That's why I never talk. I always end up saying something stupid. People ask me all the time why I never talk. I'm just saving them from having to hear my stupid voice. I never have anything interesting to say either.