mentalrape Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 How many girls out there have been in a relationship with a guy that they did everything for, loved intensely, and portrayed every trait of a faithful girlfriend, only to not be so when he isnt around. And continue and continue.. My girl and I have been off and on for a while, and mostly the offs come after she started talking to an old fling behind my back, or not being honest about new male friends. I dont believe she ever literally cheated on me, she always waited till I blew up on her for being deceiving, then when we were separated she wasted no time getting with guy X. We are back together again, and she tells me she is sorry for her actions in the past, and she has cried about it intensely in front of me. When we are together, she is awesome.. she does so many romantic, and caring things for me, and REALLY depicts the the traits of a faithful in love companion.. But at the same time, she has shown these traits in the past, and then at some point gets distracted.. Does she know damn well what she is doing? Or does she just get distracted easily? And for the girls reading this, do any of you ever have these qualities when with a guy? (showing immense love for him, but acting differently when apart) Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Seems like she may like male attention. -Talking to ex -Jumping into a new relationship Or, I could be entirely wrong. I think you very well could be her everything but she seems like an insecure person to go behind your back. However, before I conclude, what do you mean by "lying about new guy friends?" Link to comment
DN Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I think if she is seeing other men on a regular basis whether she is with you or not - then she can hardly claim you are her everything. Link to comment
waveseer Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 It takes two to tango, what is going on with you during normal and not so normal times? Link to comment
waveseer Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Good point, I keep forgetting that point even though I tend to use that expression often. It also takes two to detango. Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Insecurity pretty much sums it up. If this is any consolation to you...I had been with my ex for approx 5 years and never ever once did I even think of cheating on him....also, we have been broken up since March of last year and I haven't even came close to touching another guy yet....I am not grieving or anything, but just feel I have things to work on in my life before I start in the dating game again. I came accross this book recently and it is quite good...called, "10 things women do to screw up their lives"...it talks alot about many of the issues you described in your thread...perhaps get it for her and tell her to read it....she may learn a thing or two about herself. You would think at my age I would be the desperate one looking to regain my youth by going out with every guy...funny thing is I am totally opposite...at my age I am more grounded, know what I want, and alot more picky than before....at this point in my life finding another relationship is the last thing on my totem pole....I have myself to love and depend on...why do I need anyone else? So sorry you are going through this pain...I hope you can get things worked out...and just know this is not acceptable behavior. Some women have great guys and walk all over them....no wonder some guys are afraid of commitment. My best wishes to you...hope everything works out for you. Hugs and smiles. Link to comment
mentalrape Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 However, before I conclude, what do you mean by "lying about new guy friends?" I mean saying that she met a cool person at school, and that she is not attracted to the guy WHATsoever, but then when we broke up, she later dated the guy Which would show that when she says she is not attracted to a guy, it is clearly a cover.. Honestly, I have been reading a lot about sociopaths since posting this, and I would put my money on it that she is one to some degree.. My sane mind tells me that she is no good, and will continue to betray my trust in the future - rare, or not. My dreamer mind says that MAYBE she has changed, maybe she really does want me and only me. Then my sane mind steps in again, and says that even if she does want you and only you, her actions may deter from that very easily despite her heart's emotions - hence the sociopath traits. Then, my OTHER head says DAMN it is fun to be in bed with her.. Then, my head blows up and I lose true sight of anything.. Can't be healthy for me... but, at the same time.. i enjoy it. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I do not think what she did is wrong. She dated a guy friend after YOU broke up with her. I don't think that makes her decietful. When she was talking to an old fling, what happened with that? Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh you wasn't together when she was with the other guy...if that is the case then it's okay if she sees another guy...big difference. Link to comment
DN Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh you wasn't together when she was with the other guy...if that is the case then it's okay if she sees another guy...big difference. Not if she is setting up the new guy while she is still with the OP: My girl and I have been off and on for a while, and mostly the offs come after she started talking to an old fling behind my back, or not being honest about new male friends. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I would still like him to elaborate on what the conversations with the old fling turned out and how many times he has broken up. Link to comment
dreamwarrior Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Not if she is setting up the new guy while she is still with the OP I totally agree...I am only saying if they are broke up then she can see others but not use a fight then break up or lying behind his back as an excuse to see the other guy...I don't condone lying or cheating when your with someone....totally uncool....people play to many games. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Yes maybe she wants attention but if it's too much deceptions/lies, why are you still with her? Link to comment
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