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Still not noticing missed opportunities

Tom the fool

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Now that you mention it, I do have that routine. So what's the other routine?


(And where do the women who refer to improbability generators hang out?)


the single routine has at least one outing a week, alone or with friends for places where there is the slightest possibility that you will meet anyone new. be it a cafe, a pub, a club or a vernissage (I fancy those as testing grounds. I can speak to anyone as crazily as I wish and the worst that they can think is that maybe I'm an artist too X D - and you will hardly get such a good chance of knowing the hidden logic of someone as when they are telling you what does that yellow blob on a blue canvas mean to them)


(so eager to avoid them? run from political sciences or music departments, and anyone that goes for both of those. a little bit faster if they are into folk music from different parts of the world, and find a concorde if they avoid drugs because they are not effective = )

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When you mention that agatha then I definitely have the routine of a married person as well on that description.

Work, out for a run (my exercise), odd trip out to the supermarket or department store. That's it.


Ofcourse I know I need to get out more and in my vent thread I talk about "getting out"; still working out the best way though.

As Tom talks about in his reply to me, my main issue is "putting" myself somewhere - still brainstorming things which I want to go rather than just putting myself out there which would probably make me seem more awkward anyway.

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Actually, I do spend quite a bit of time in coffee places, reading philosophy books, or preparing for the trip to schools I mentioned in the other thread.


I have about three reading groups per week. One is with members of my old church (I'm by far the youngest one in the room); another is with members of my new church (same); the last is with some sane friends I met in school.


Over the summer, I tried to get out to some different places, in the hopes of meeting people. I went to the art museum a couple times, and some parks. At the art museum, there were people around, but I didn't quite get the hang of figuring out when to say something to them. Or what to say. Or who to say it to. I wound up convincing myself that I should concentrate on the art, and just sort of hoped that at some point, I would find myself in a situation where speaking would seem to make sense. But after a couple trips of not really saying a word to anyone, I sort of lost my incentive to go.


My intention wasn't to speak to a pretty girl, necessarily. I figured I should take baby steps & just try to have a brief conversation with anyone, and, by accumulating brief conversations with somewhat randomly selected patrons, I would eventually find myself speaking to the sort of girl I'd like to date. I also figured it might give me some additional talking points in ordinary conversation with folks I met elsewhere (as in, "that reminds me of such and such's painting of so and so).


I'm sure it wouldn't hurt me much to go back a few more times.


The parks thing didn't work out as I had planned. I kept going to the parks where other people didn't (or at least when they didn't). And I really didn't have anything to do while I was there.


So that leaves me, I guess, only with the option of making cold approaches to strangers.


I'm not looking forward to this.

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Hey Tom,


I have always been on the shy side and people say 'go out to the bars'. Doesn't work.


What do you like to do? I think that getting involved in your community, taking local classes, going to dances (contra dancing can be a great time!), volunteering, and going to parks etc. can help you meet people that may be easier to make conversation with in the first place. I am not sure what you mean by missed opportunities, but I am sure you would increase your chances of not missing opportunities in those previously mentioned settings since they have many females usually attending and the conversation is easy.

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