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20 years old and never been on a date


sax20

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I'll be 21 years old next summer and I've never been out on a date, let along have a girlfriend. I went to college at Penn State for a semester, but got kicked out for playing footsie with some girls I didn't know at the library. I now have $5000 in student loans to pay have and have had trouble keeping a job. I plan on going back to college next fall but I live at home in the meantime and the only people I usually talk to in person are my parents. All of my friends are on the Xbox360 which is about the only thing that I really enjoy right now. I've tried a couple online dating sites like link removed but I hardly got any responses. I was polite and ask questions in the messages I sent but didn't get any replies. I did have two pictures up as well. I'm starting to think that I'm stuck with where I am right down until I get back into school. Anyone have any tips of what I might be doing wrong or what I could to meet some girls locally??

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Well, I guess I can relate because I did not go on a single date throughout high school and did not have my first bf until I was 19. College changed a lot of things for me...opened up a whole new world of boys. Maybe it will do the same for you. Not sure what to say about the mean time except try making new friends who might introduce you to new potential dates.

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What matters isn't what age you start dating at, but that you dating the right person in the right way. I would comfortably say that most people your age are too immature for a serious relationship anyway, and do silly things while dating (ie. play mind games). Consider yourself lucky to have avoided some of that.

 

All I have to say is don't give yourself over to some girl just because everyone else. Wait until you find the right person. Otherwise you probably will end up very hurt.

 

Don't compare yourself to others. Focus on becoming the man you want to be and wait patiently for the right woman to come along.

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wait can they even do that? they kicked you out for playing footsie?

 

anyway don't worry about the whole age issue. use the next few years to learn how to talk to women better and if possible go on dates every once in a while. then you'll probably be more prepared for a more serious relationship. don't be too patient though, i hear the dating game gets more complex the older you get

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Time for me to start joining in these! Same thing except 24, only just signed up cos after 2~3 years I've snapped into making one these threads too.

 

I didn't go to College (in a boarding/living in a dorm sense) but in my very limited experience definitely make the most of Uni/college. And as shallow as this sounds (I couldn't imagine myself thinking these thoughts at the time!) get some dates under your belt at least - well not literally - because at least with me, not even having even the experience at my slightly older age adds to the worries. Yes I know, easier said than done! (but I didn't even try so there you go

 

At least for me, Uni was my full time job and well, being Uni you see lots of new and different people but unlike work, you have no "job" worries about going out with them. And being a very shy person, I really do miss how Uni was so convenient in getting you out there mixing with people without trying (because it was your job to go to class and what not ... if you bothered to go to class that is, lol).

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Forgive me for being frank, but It seems like your problem is not dating or girlfriends, but social interaction in general. If all your friends are on Xbox360 and the only people you talk to in person are your parents, then I imagine things go a little deeper than simply an inability to meet girls. Are you going out on the weekends at all, for a drink or whatever? Do you have any hobbies that lead you out the house? Motorcycle riding? Poker? Whatever?

 

Finding simple hobbies that lead you to interact with people who enjoy what you do is one of the easiest ways to make friends and meet people, female or otherwise.

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  • 8 months later...

I can't believe they kicked you out for that. That's so stupid! Anyway, don't change for anyone regardless if your find girls who don't like you for you because then they aren't the ones you should hang out with. You definitely should try online dating at some point but I'd wait until you're about done with college as that's when most women get on those sites. You don't see many 18-21 year old females trying online dating because they are either too busy or already dating someone.

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Online dating is crap. If you don't look like a model, you can forget all about it. I'm a nerdy guy who wears glasses, is majoring in AVP, and has unconventional tastes in music, movies, and books. So the women are not exactly clamoring to be with me online.

 

I do a lot better in person, but that's because I always try to be friendly and open, and girls pick up on that. It's the shyness that blocks me in RL, but it's certainly not lack of interest.

 

Maybe you could try joining some community groups, or volunteer somewhere?

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The way they wrote that article up was not the way it went down. I was charged with harassment for trying to play footsie not "fondling". I've seen many guys do much worse than what I did, and the girls just laughed it off. I was just surprised they took it the way they did. But anyway, I learned my lesson. Now I'm 21 and looking for advice on how to get into the dating pool. I know online dating can work even if you don't look like a model. It's all about age, location, and how you fill out your profile. If you're 25+ in age, and never tried it before, I say give it a shot, you might be surprised! I've met some good looking women on there but they said I live too far away to have a relationship but we still keep in touch via email.

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