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just can't make anything work


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i am a single male, 25 years old, and for the last 5 years i have been hopelessly single. besides a few terrible first dates, i have really only dated one single girl for more than 2 weeks and it was only about a month and nothing serious at all.


i am a tall, thin guy that i would say is average looking at worst, probably a little better than average looking. all through college i was very religious and didn't drink, didn't believe in sex before marriage, and didn't date non-christians. once i became 21 or so my outlook changed, and i have been changing ever since. for the last 3 years or so i would say i have been a solid, confident person, always very socially outgoing (my amount of friends is very large), but i cannot make anything happen on the girlfriend side of things.


needless to say i have met a lot of girls that would show initial attraction but then without a first date ever even happening the stories would turn ridiculous...dates set up and me show up alone, girls that would invite me over and then not be there; the stories i have amassed from flaky girls is so unbelievable i believe a book could be written off of my ridiculous incidents.


needless to say i'm sure a bit of those situations are normal for any person in a dating life. but really i'm sick of things not ever working, not even enough for a first date in nearly 100% of cases. i have a good job, a nice place, live alone, a nice car, and i dress very nice, and again i go out and talk to anyone, will get anyone's phone number that i think is fun and that i would like to hang out with again. it works, but not on a "hey let's date" level.


i have tried link removed for 3 months to absolutely no avail, never even had one conversation. i did eharmony once for the same amount of time and i was only matched with one person that was remotely decent looking in her pictures. i met her and she was just not the right person. but that has been the extent of my online dating luck. my friends are convinced i have really bad luck with girls and that is the problem, but i just don't believe someone can have that bad of luck in these types of things.


i'm getting concerned since i am 25 and practically since 18 have been completely single, without ever even having hope in a girl to have a relationship with. it is disconcerting to say the least. does anyone have any advice or any helpful words to give me? thanks.

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Keep your chin up. Your previous involvement in your religion and the beliefs you held at that time may have limited the pool of girls for you. If you have those beliefs, join a church group or something similar where you would meet like-minded girls. Saying that you've had 'no luck' might be unfair to yourself, since your just now opening up the idea of what you're looking for to include more people. I never had a tons of luck dating, either and tried the online thing and then a friend told me "You don't need 10 people to email you...you need ONE connection. One person you want to see again. One person you're interested in". That made me rethink focusing on the numbers of people responding or asking me out. It just takes one connection. Be a little easier on yourself and maybe get involved in some groups. My friend met someone through the "Young Professionals Society" (google it)...they have groups all over the country you can join and go for hikes and that kind of thing.

Best wishes!

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