Depressed, need professional help, suicidal

[makeupgrl99]

I'm 27 and my bf of five yrs broke up with me because he didnt want to be in a relationship anymore.

 

I dont know how to move on, i dont want to move on and i'm extremely extremely depressed to the point where I go days without eating, I cry constantly, dont sleep, can't do any activities because everything reminds me of him.

 

I can't stop thinking "what ifs", the thought of him being with someone else makes me literally vomit.

 

I recently got layed off so I dont have health insurance or money, so I can't afford professional help or a psychiatrist.

 

Someone please help me, i just want to die

[Amasa]

Casey is right. You just gotta slow it down. Get through one day. Then be happy you made it through that one day. Then maybe go stand outside for a little while on the second day. Set small goals and work your way up. The busier you are the less time you have to sit around and think about it.

[makeupgrl99]

There is zero chance of us ever being together again

[dur-LiveIt]

Hi,

First, you are doing the right thing by posting here if you feel so down and desperate. I would ask though, that you just take a breath and a minute and remember, that before you were with your ex, you had a life and an existence beyond him. Don't forget that. In your obsessing about him, go a little further back in time and remember and obsess on the person you were before him. That person is still within you, it is just a bit clouded right now. I am so sorry you are feeling so desperate, that is not a good feeling at all. Go back, go back, to the time when you did not put your whole sense of being and identity into this person. It is still there within you, it is, I promise. Keep your chin up, allow yourself to feel the pain and the loss, that is real, but, don't let it destroy you. Cliche as it sounds, and as hard as it is to hear right now, this is truly just a chapter in your life, you will make it through this. Go get some ice cream and rent a funny movie or something. Call a good friend with an empathetic ear, go for a walk, anything to keep you out there in the real world and out of your head right now. It's a scary place at the moment and not your best ally. You will be fine. Believe me.

LiveIt.

[lizzy45]

hi sweetheart i know how you are feeling my marraige broke up 6 months ago and i felt worthless hopeless and unloveable i cried for days i have nothing no home no money but im stll trying to make my life better its hard right now for you and yes you need to talk to someone a friend doctor who ever you are comfortable with you will be better i know this because your have inner strenght that you will find in time and you will be happy again im getting my life back now learning to love yourself and give yourself hope of a great future will make you feel positive and remember to be proud of yourself for writting for advice goodluck my friend you are special.

[AutumnBorn]

Makeupgrl, there is a lot you can do to start feeling better today. Here's a to do list to consider:

 

1. Go the the drugstore and get some SAMe for your depression. It's over the counter, safe, and effective. Use it regularly.

 

2. Force yourself to exercise every day. It'll help lift your spirits.

 

3. You're not employed? Volunteer for a homeless organization or at a hospital. It will help you feel useful and needed and could lead to a regular, full-time job. (There are even volunteer positions at the courthouse, very responsible, and lots of cute attorney's milling about!)

 

4. Make a list of 10 things you are not going to miss or hate about your old boyfriend.

 

5. Get online, download a copy of the Modern Library's Best 100 Novels, mark off those you've read, and go to the library or used bookstore to find one you haven't. These are generally great novels that will help keep your mind occupied and sharp.

 

6. Write yourself affirmations (very important to write them down, it exercises two separate areas of the brain). "I'm attractive, intelligent, and charming. Any man would be lucky to have me in his life." Write each affirmation 10 times and change them daily. Tell yourself all the good and great things about you.

 

7. This is what stopped my tears a year ago this past Thanksgiving: I realized that my then husband did the best he could to make us work. It wasn't good enough or what I needed, but he could no more give me what I needed than he could sprout wings and fly. (We were on two different planets morally. Hey, no matter how nicely he asked, I wasn't going to give his friend a bj and didn't think it was ok for him to spend a week in London in a hotel room with a female co-worker). You both did the best you could do. Keep repeating that. Write it down, if you have to.

 

8. In fact, get one of those composition notebooks and keep it as a combination place to purge and affirmation notebook. When you feel the need to call or text or email him, grab your notebook and write it there.

 

Good luck, girl. I know just where you are and, believe it or not, a year makes all the difference in the world. Since I stopped crying I've dated a yacht salesman, a paint designer, and a doctor - all very successful. And my ex now believes I'm as fabulous as I really am, and I'd never go back. Never.

[dur-LiveIt]

OK, Makegurl99,

How are you? You asked for help, you got some, now where are you?

[makeupgrl99]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I went to see a friend for an hr, hoping talking would make me feel better. I've also taken Autums advice and just searched online for some possible volunteer work just to keep myself busy. I'm still upset, and still feel like the past five yrs now mean absolutely nothing. The thought of him being with someone else kills me, especially knowing that he will be better for someone else then me.

[dur-LiveIt]

Hey 99,

You will be OK. Don't even worry about that. I know it is hard right now, but, please don't try to compare and contrast yourself with whoever he has taken up with now after you. That is his problem and his choice. Now, you need to concentrate on what your choices are outside of him and your relationship with him. It sounds like you are taking good and positive steps, keep going. Remember, that which does not kill us will only make us stronger. That helped me at at time when I was where you are now. It will work out, just keep going forward, you will be fine. The best to you. Also, I had a sobriquet(sp?) "I would rather be alone and sane, then with somebody, and insane." Keep that in mind as well. You are fine and doing great. Best to you. LiveIt.

[SighSob]

Hey makeupgirl, don't worry you are not alone.

We've all been there. You know, 3 weeks ago I was in your exact same situation. I couldn't eat, if I thought about her with another guy I'd "literally vomit", I couldn't sleep, and the list goes on...

The first days are the worst ones, but as time goes by you WILL feel better, just like I do.

Don't ask yourself too many questions, like "What if" or "Did I waste 5 years" or "When did he stop loving me", 'cause you won't get any answer and they'll only hurt you more.

I know it's hard, I myself spent tonight kinda wondering the same things, but then I'd force myself to think about something else.

 

All you can do in the early days after a breakup is:

 

-MEET SOME FRIENDS and tell them how you feel. IT HELPS!!

-Talk to your parents too! They've been a great help to me 'cause they kind of see "the big picture"!

-Think about the fact that at least he's not dead (your ex): you always have a chance to make him yours again in the future!!

 

So, do not suicide, as it won't solve anything!

[chocolates]

Hi,

In your obsessing about him, go a little further back in time and remember and obsess on the person you were before him. That person is still within you, it is just a bit clouded right now. I am so sorry you are feeling so desperate, that is not a good feeling at all. Go back, go back, to the time when you did not put your whole sense of being and identity into this person. It is still there within you, it is, I promise. .

 

I think this is really wise advice. Very interesting angle.

[chocolates]

How long have you been broken up for?

[makeupgrl99]

3 months. I was fine the first week, and sort of fine the next week but then it all went down the hill. Everyday I get WORSE instead of better

[chocolates]

I dont know which country you are in , but i have been going to the beach a lot.

 

 

After 3 months you must be getting in a rut with it. You need to get yourself out of your environment, and move your body. Exercise, get in the sun. This will begin to lift your mood.

 

Make plans, A plan. Could be anything.

[zrehman]

Hey hun

 

I read your thread and I feel your pain. We all here on ENA have been through a lost of a loved one. I am on Day 5 and I miss my ex like crazy and the thought of her with another man makes me want to vomit too!

 

But your ex does NOT deserve you ... you deserve better and with time and NC you will become a stronger person, I guarantee it!

 

 

 

Read the first post on that link ... it was inspirational ... maybe it can give you the same light it has given me.

[drewciouS281]

now is the time to be with family and friends as much as possible, thats the best thing for you. all councelors do is listen to you and ask you pointless questions. You can find this in family and close friends. Nothing against councelors but my ex and i tried seeing one to fix things and it did nothing, i was doing more counceling than the councelor. If anything stay with us here!

[Will D Ness]

OMG. If there was EVER a post that hammered on the head of the truth better than this one, I'd like to see it! I laughed out loud!

 

Great words, Autumn.

[Angietell]

I understand what you are going through, I'm going through the same thing right now, let me tell you my story it's pretty similar to yours.

I'm 20 years old I was with this "amazing" guy he was everything for me, I fell in love for the very first time, I gave him everything I could, I lost my virginity to him, he was my very first boyfriend.

I moved to his house and I lived with him for about 6 months, we were together for a year and we were having some issues, but we always worked them out.

I think he was scared of commitment and he would tell me that it was better if I moved back to my house, that he wanted to have some space, and have time for himself, he was telling me that he wanted me to miss me and stuff like that.

On halloween we had some stupid fight and everything was over that day, I went bananas I couldn't believe he was breaking up with me, I cried I hit myself I did some stupid * * * * , I moved to my house that day I left a lot of stuff of mine in his house, he gave it back to me a month later.

I was really depressed in fact that I didn't want to eat anymore, I couldn't sleep and I wasn't enjoying anything anymore, I lost 15 pounds in two months.

I was so lost I didn't know what to do with myself until one day that I saw him I felt rejected and I couldn't hold it anymore, I was thinking on killing myself, so I called the suicide line to reach for some help, I never expected they were gonna call the police/rescue anyway they came to my house and took me to a physic ward I stayed there for 3 days and trust me it wasn't a good experience I fell out of place. But at least I learned the hard way.

They gave me medicines (antidepressants) now I'm relying on that I have therapy every week and I don't have any kind of insurance. The hospital bill is being paid withfinacial aid i asked for since I couldn't pay that by myself.

What I paid for therapy is minimun 50 down payment and 15 everytime I go.

Trust me if you really feel like you need help go ahead and get it, don't let this ruin your life or the life of those who actually love you and care about you, cry everytime you feel like crying, punch a pillow, scream out loud, but never harm yourself, put i this way: he doesn't care about you anymore, why should you care about him? I know it's hard and painful, I'm going throught the same, but we are strong enough to get over it.

Good luck I know wecan make it.