tired of living

[buffalosoldier]

Hello everyone.

 

i dont know if anyone can actually give me any advice,but if anybody has any words of wisdom for me i would really appreciate it.

 

Im so fed up and tired of living.im physically,mentally and emotionally tired and drained.i feel like no matter what i do and no matter how much i try to avoid getting things wrong,i do anyway.its like someone up there is having a good laugh at me,waving a carrot under my nose and then taking it away every time i get close.and i guess you could say that carrot would symbolise my happiness.

 

Im not appreciated at work,in my love life,my friendships and even my family particularly.I try so hard to make others happy and to make others want to be around me but nothing works,but to look at me you would probably never guess how much i am dieing inside.People always use the same lines on me ''you are beautiful,intelligent and have nothing wrong with you,you should be the happiest person in the world.'' and i probably should be,but i am not.

 

all i want is for someone to tell me they love me and need me in their life,that i somehow make a difference to someone.i love to make people happy,i love to know that i could brightens somebodies day up,but things just get thrown back in my face.i feel constantly let down and even betrayed.i know people arent perfect but i just feel so sad when people dont treat me the way i do them.and all the *beep* of the world seem to be loved,cherished and have everything they desire without having to do a thing for it.i dont want to be a bad person but im seriously considering it.why do people always want what they cant have?things just seem so backwards.

 

please help if you can,i could really use some support,i know this post is a bit far fetched.

 

Thanks.

[vfunkera]

hey buffalo i'll try to help.

 

I know where you are coming from, because i was going through the same thing. When life becomes a routine and you don't enjoy what you have. When nothing goes right for you.

 

If you are not enjoying life then you MUST re-evaluate it, because whats the worth in living if you are not enjoying it? Why waste any more time here? Happiness is out there you've just got to find it, and at the moment you are standing in one place when you should be running for the goal! I did not enjoy my life a few years ago because i simply did not like being restricted by my parents- as wonderful as they were to me. So i moved out and i absolutley love it! Its a new me!

 

If you don't enjoy work, then find somewhere else. If you don't enjoy your current love and romance, then replace it with some thing that you will enjoy. Its all about living life to the fullest. When you do that and put in the hard work- in your case setting goals and finding out what you want out of life, and making a plan for it- then you will achieve and you will reap the rewards. If you believe it will happen, you just need to set your mind to it.

 

Take a vacation and rest, spoil yourself on what you love and enjoy it. Don't worry about money, it should not restrict you on enjoying life because you only live once.

 

When something becomes routine it becomes boring and will most probably not last long. This could be the case in a relationship, school and work. You should change your life around and make it into what you want. These are just the dark nights, the bright better day will come soon, you've simply got to work through the night so the sun does finally come up!

 

Good luck

[buffalosoldier]

I see what you are saying and thanks for your reply,but i think maybe i worded my first post a little wrong.its not the routine of things that is upsetting me at all.im just sick and tired of the people in my life taking me for granted and not appreciating me.i do whatever is expected of me and always try my best to please people.what i am saying is that the bad people in the world seem to be rewarded for doing nothing.and it always seems that bad things happen to good people.

 

i am always there for the people that i love,and would never intentionally betray anyone like i feel they betray me, and people seem to find it fun to chase something they cant have whilst ignoring what is right there in front of them.i dont get it.why wouldnt you want a loyal,loving and giving person in your life?

 

i feel let down by life.i look at people smiling and wish that i could have a smile on my face that wasnt fake.

[lil_unique_me]

my best advice to you is to do something unexpected. nothing that will cause hurt or anguish to a member of your family but just something that you havent done in a while and something that you would like to do again. that way your family and friends will learn to not take you for granted because whilst you will be you wont be there as much and as full on as you normally are. get them to listen to your problems instead of you listening to theirs.

O and i know what you mean with the smile thing. i only smile because people expect me to because they dont know the real truth about me. my smile is my disguise and also my armour from the rest of the world!!!

Hope this helps.

If you need anymore then you know what to do.

lil_unique_me xxx

[avman]

I have felt as you felt too. I was betrayed awhile back by some people who I truly deeply trusted. And for awhile I really questioned why I cared about people at all. It took some time for me to get over that and just to realize that I didn't trust people very much because of what happened.

 

You know, it may SEEM like the other people out there have everything they want - but that is usually not the case. Lots of them are just putting up fronts making it seem like they have it all together. In reality many of them are just as hurt and just as empty in private. If they are chasing after things that truly can't make them happy it will catch up with them. It always does.

 

I have read a lot of your posts and it is obvious to me that you have a very warm and caring heart. And people like that really tend to take things very personally and very deeply. So I can understand your sadness and your frustration. When you hear that "you are so wonderful" then you wonder why another wonderful person can't just see that and be a part of your life. Its a cruel irony.

 

This is hard advice, but just keep being the wonderful person that you are. Don't let the less considerate people trample you down. You might need to do a "friend purge" of the people in your life who just take, but never give. Its harsh, but necessary. Those people sap your energy and give you nothing in return. They aren't the kind of people you really need in your life.

 

If its any consolation I have seen you make a big difference in peoples lives on the forum. And I for one appreciate you. The world needs lots more people just like you in it.

 

avman

[buffalosoldier]

thankyou so much for your post avman,and everyone else. i understand exactly what you have said and it makes much sense.

 

i suppose in a way i am also guilty of what i describe other people doing,which is reaching for something i cannot have.i think i deserve happiness,it just seems that i base my happiness around other people.i dont really trust myself enough,so i put my trust in others to make me happy instead which probably isnt the best thing to do,but i just cant see any other way to find happiness.people can make me so happy and yet so sad sometimes.

 

your right i do take things personally,far too personally at times,people have told me this before,and i agree i need to sort out which friends i ned in my life and which i dont.i just find it hard to do that sort of thing,its not in my nature to do things that i consider wrong or hurtful to others,even if it is not.sometimes i would rather that i was in pain just to save someone else from feeling pain instead.but still this doesnt get me far,except from being walked all over.i cant get my head round why people would do that though,and they dont even seem to notice,like its normal to take others for granted.

 

thanks for all your help,i feel a little better,i just wish i could make people realise when they have a good thing.coz i am a good person and i do truly want others to be happy aswell as myself,i just dont want it to be at my expense.

[AzurePhoenix]

Buffalo,

 

I am very sorry that you are experiencing this pain. I read carefully your post and some of your wording struck a cord with me and I wanted to share this with you.

 

Do these patterns of behavior (most of them) sound familiar to you?

 

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.

I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.

I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

I have difficulty making decisions.

I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."

I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.

I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.

I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.

I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.

I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.

I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.

I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.

I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.

I accept sex when I want love.

 

If you can identify most of these as statements about your behavior and how you feel then you may want to visit the following URL:

link removed

 

Best~

 

AzurePhoenix

[jaseo]

*gives you a big hug*

 

Cheer up

 

Times get down. We often think things that are not true just to create more drama for our selves because often we all think negative but you have to look positive.

 

All issues can be worked through and it often takes hard work and most important time (to heal).

[swift44]

hey man remember life is what you make it as long as youtry your hardest to be a hardworking person and be the best person you can be and also try to find something that makes you happy with yourself, me i found God in my life and my life turned around it might not be the best but as long as i have God things are much better, try helping others or something along those lines but you should never give up remember life is what you make it.

[Fennejir]

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