How can i make her believe she's wrong?

[adidas7fire]

i have this friend (traci) that i have known practically my whole life (since kindergarten... it's been 16 years). she got married to this guy joe that she had been with for over 2 years because she got pregnant. anyways, traci and i have kept in touch a little bit but she changed A LOT since i knew her back in grade school. but guessing that since now she is a mother and married and all... things have been rough and tough for her. anyways, getting to my point, joe is a friend of mine as well now... and we all have hung out and stuff. last week he got my email addy from her and started talking to me and IMing whenever he got home. so when we have just been chatting at night, he tells me that she is getting mad at him for talking to me. i asked him why and he said because a while back he told her that he thought i was pretty (keep in mind that she is gorgeous!). i told him that was his first mistake.. to tell your wife that you think another woman is more beautiful than she (if it were me... i'd have a little more confidence in myself as well as a sense of security that my husband can look but can't touch). anyhow, i know that that must have made her uneasy and since he's only 19, he's still a little immature and was not ready to settle down. so last night we were talking and i was trying to help him with some computer issues he was having and she kept getting mad at him for turning on the lights (she couldn't go to sleep). but then i talked to him during lunch today and told me that she locked herself in the bathroom and was mad at both him AND me. she even told him that he would rather be with me than with her and all this other false stuff. i don't want her to be mad at him or at me... because i have always wanted her to be like a sister... but since she has changed so much... i don't know if that will be possible. i have no interest in joe and i guess she just doesn't buy that or understand that i am telling the truth. i don't know what to say to her to make her realize that she's overreacting and doesn't need to be jealous or worried. but if it comes down to it.. if i have to surrender a friendship, then i just might have to do it if she is going to be that way. it's a shame if that were ever to happen... but i don't know what to think from all this.

 

please help me... i don't want to lose this friendship. how can i make her believe that nothing's going on?

[Athena]

I think this is a very simple communication problem. And, I think it can be resolved very easily. If all three of you sit down together, you can kill two birds with one stone. You can tell Joe that you are not interested in him and in doing that in front of your friend, it will affirm for her that you TRULY are not intersted in Joe which will surely alleviate your friend's feelings of uncertainty, unsureness and jealousy.

 

That will allow you maintain your friendship with both of them. The problem in this situation resides between Joe and his girlfriend, you should leave it up to them to deal with and resolve.