Need Advice

[Mork]

I have a problem that may ruin my life. I am 15(almost 16) and am in love with the most fantastic lady who is 39 and my best friends mother. It all started six months ago when I slept over to my friends house. I was asleep on the couch when his mom layed next to me and well we had sex 4 times that night. We kept meeting for sex almost every day since and yesterday she informed me she is pregnant. I really don't know what to do and I know I am to young to be a father. She has been divorced from her husband for this past 3 years and tells me she loves me and wants to keep our baby. I am afraid that if my friend finds out his mom is having my baby, he will be angry and not speek to me.

What can I do?

[sk8er_gal]

What she did is kinda illegal in most states, talk to her and tell her you aren't ready to take on such a big responsibility. This is very serious and will only get worse .. you should talk to a trusted teacher or doctor/counsellor about this.

[Balthamos]

Mork. I agree with Sk8er_gal, what she did was very wrong and illegal. You are right to understand that you are not ready to be a father yet. She was taking advantage of you and your naivety, and you need to tell her that it is her baby, and she needs to decide what to do with it, but that you are not prepared to be a father. She did the illeagal thing and ultimately, she is responsible, though you cannot deny your responsibility in it.

 

If you think she will listen to you, you might try to get her to give the baby up for adoption, because it will be hard for that child never knowing its father, and even harder if it finds out the situation of its conception.

 

I'm not sure this will help but I hope that it does, and wish you the best of luck.

[neva_black_n_white]

i again agree with skater_gal. i mean it is illegal, your under the age of consent and she should have seen that it was wrong to have been sleeping with you (especially when im assuming she had a son the same age with her own morals)

 

you need to talk to her about what it is you want to do. this is a large dilemma you have to deal with. and unfortunatley the friend not speaking to you would only be the start of it, think about your family, court cases that could be brought up throug your parents.

 

you need to discuss this, maturely!

 

kel

[Chibi_usagi_noodles]

Wow, and I thought having a bf who is 11 months younger was bad. (same grade thou)

[Mork]

Well I spoke with her today, she claims she does not know who owns her baby. She said she was sleeping with 3 other guys on a regular basis for the past year and that she considered me her "Boy Toy" and laughed at me. I feel so used. I will not be seeing her anymore but what does the future hold. I mean what if it is my baby?

[neva_black_n_white]

i think its a powerful thing you did, walking away, i mean it shows that you control your life and dont deserve to be used.

i beliecve that as for your question on what you should do, its pretty personal.

 

in my eyes if you are the father you should stick by the child if not the mother, you created something and thereforeeee you should look after it until they can look after themselves. i think with you being hurt by being used, you show alot of emotion, and within yourself know its right to look after the child.

ensure that you get a blood test done though, you dont want her to possibly use you again just for the money.

 

just a thought, good luck

kel

[Mork]

This is really getting to me, I think about her evreyday. I called her to talk for a while and she informed me that she has had genital herpies for 10 years and I may have caught them off her. What else can go wrong. How do I know if I have this? I feel like such a fool. I even broke up with my girlfrieend for her and all I end up with is this?

[neva_black_n_white]

i really sorry for what your going through. i think the best thing for you to do now is go to a clinic and get yourself checked out for this.

unfortunatley we cannot play on the past yet only change what is to come. i guess if you have this, then this is something everyone on enotalone will also help you with. just pluck up the courage to get it checked and at least then your mind can be at rest, right?

 

good luck.

kel

[Mork]

Well it has all come to an end. I confided in my school councilor who advised me to tell my mom about what was happening. She contacted the police and my lover was arresed for having sex with a minor. There will be a court ordered paternity test done to see if I am the father. My Mom wants to take the baby if it is mine and raise it. I don't want to see her thrown in jail as I was a willing partisipant. I have been tested for Herpies and the results come back positive. It has also gotten around school of what has happened. Although it is popular with the boys, the girls snicker at me. My ex, who is the love of my life won't even look at me. We were having sex during my fling with the older lady and should I tell her to get tested for herpies also?

What a mistake this was.

[Balthamos]

I am really sorry to hear that you eneded up getting Herpes off of that woman. I'm sure it must be really hard for you at shcool.

 

In response to your question, yes, you do need to tell your ex g/f that you might have gotten Herpes while the two of you were having sex.

 

Sorry that this turned out so badly for you, but I'm glad you don't have to face it alone anymore.

 

God Bless

 

Balthamos

[neva_black_n_white]

i believe its the most honest and mature thing you can do in this situation so yes i would tell her. out of respect for your previous relationship this is something you should tell her.

 

kel

[Mork]

First of all I would like to say thanks for the sound advice I have received here, it really helped me get through this thing. Things have started to normalize now, my lady friend has been charged This really bothers me as it was as much my doing as hers. She has three kids also (You never say it, this lady looks 19) and it hurts me to see what they are going though. There is one issue remaining that I am concerned about. There is two separate video tapes made of us having sex. She insisted we have the camera on so she could "enjoy me" when I was not around. These tapes are very graphic showing every possible sex act a man and women could do. Even a couple of things that would be considered perverted. How do I go about getting these back? I don't want them floating around and 10 years down the road have them come back to haunt me. She did say she would never show them to anyone, but she does have a collection of them. I have seen tapes of people I know who have been with her, two of them are married men with families. She acts like a porn star on them. Should I get legal advice on this?

[The Morrigan]

There's a strong chance as the investigation goes on these tapes will be seized as evidence. Since you already know they exist, best bet is probably to ask for legal advice. I'm figuring you're not going to be able to get the tapes yourself, since they are evidence, but since you're a minor, the court could probably be closed (legal and involved members only) so they don't become public knowledge. Ask a legal advisor who you should go to to make sure it's requested before hearings start.

[Chibi_usagi_noodles]

Mork add me on msn email removed

you seem like an interesting person to talk to