How many people left somebody because they thought they could do better?

[Tears May Fall]

Im just curious to see how many people here have left somebody thinking they could do better (physically)? Did you actually find someone better?

 

Also did you later on realize that you had something good and regretted leaving the person?

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

*Preface* I was with someone and things weren't getting serious enough. So I went back to an ex because he was very serious about me and also extremely attractive. I regretted it.

 

It was a nightmare. He was ridiculously hot, but also ridiculously WEIRD.

*shudder*

[Snoopy24]

Im just curious to see how many people here have left somebody thinking they could do better (physically)? Did you actually find someone better?

 

Also did you later on realize that you had something good and regretted leaving the person?

 

Physically looks are what draws me in. I have broken up with guys because I felt I could do better as far as personality goes. ..but never on looks. IMO that's extremley shallow.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Physically looks are what draws me in. I have broken up with guys because I felt I could do better as far as personality goes. ..but never on looks. IMO that's extremley shallow.

 

Same here.

 

Whenever I am with a guy, I think they are the hottest. Seriously.

[coolgirl]

I left my ex cuz i wanted too but i didnt find anyone better. I found 2 people that i thought they could be better but i was wrong. I regret making the decsion of leaving my ex. And now i want him back.

[franfran]

I've broken relationships knowing that I can find better... but not in a physical sense. Always has to do with ambition, or lack thereof. When I broke up with my ex-ex, I left him for someone who I was A LOT more physically attracted to but ultimately, that had nothing to do with it. Personality reigns.

[Ac143]

Isnt the physical attraction what draws people in at first? If you dont find your SO attraction from day one then you shouldn't start dating them because it will start problems later on.

 

But NO never left an ex for a "hotter" guy ...sure after we broke up I dated guys that were hotter but that had nothing to do with the breakup.

[lana111]

never have left someone bc i thought i could do better physically. i never would bc i really dont care about that, as long as i am attracted to the person thats all that matters.

[lost4now2008]

never have left someone bc i thought i could do better physically. i never would bc i really dont care about that, as long as i am attracted to the person thats all that matters.

My opinion is if you leave someone because you think you can do better physically, then there isn't a whole heckuva lot of love in the relationship you're leaving, and it seems very nomadic and noncommittal. But that said, there's plenty of good reason to have healthy highly physical less emotional relationships. Just make sure both sides are on the same page with respect to this, because you can do a heckuva lot of damage to a weak self-esteem handling things this way. I agree with the person that said, "When I'm with someone, they are totally the hottest thing on Earth" and I don't get in relationships looking to one-up the last one. Settle down a lil, or be on the same page with the one your with. The grass often ISN'T greener on that other side.

[knightNshiningarmor]

i did this till i learned something....i could always do better....u can always find someone else better in one way or another then the person u are with...but its not about finding the perfect person but finding that perfect connection...know with this kind of thinking ull always be stuck looking at what u possibly could have and never appreciate what u do have. That being said if u not happy where ur at then ur not happy.

[PJPaul]

Im very interested in the thread! And more than just looks. Did u leave because u u though he was more mature, love u more, be more manly, better carrier, etc. and what was the outcome? Caught my me big time lol

[Tears May Fall]

Well this thread I was creating to see what people's reaction to it would be and ofcourse I got the responses I expected, which was why would you do that, thats so shallow, shouldnt you be attracted to them in the first place, etc etc...

 

Sure we usually leave relationships at some point or another because we're tired of something about the person and hope to find someone better in the next relationship who doesnt treat us as such. I would never break up with someone based on lack of physical attraction alone either, because if there was no physical attraction, there wouldve been no first date.

 

But what I have seen, especially from guys (not all, dont flame me now), is they take an average looking girl who treats them good, and dont appreciate them sometimes, take them for granted, because the visual stimulatory effects in a males mind is sometimes so powerful that they get easily tempted by the grass being greener on the other side due seeing other women that physically attract them. However when they actually eventually attempt to date one of these VERY physically attractive women, turns out they dont have much chemistry with them and the physically attractive one doesnt treat them so well and is quick to leave with the slightest sign of her not getting what she wants, because usually these type of women have gotten their way with men throughout their lives due to their appearance.

 

Now dont get me wrong and say im generalizing, because im just making a statement that isnt set in stone. Things can happen differently.

 

Im just trying to see different possible reasons for people breaking up...thats all

 

And yes, you are right, the grass usually isnt greener. As einstein said, the only thing that is certain, is people will have always wants, ones that will change every so often. Some peoples wants change too often...

[kayamoyan]

I totally agree with you, my ex bf did that to me. He was cheating on me online, contacting drop dead gorgeous women. I caught him twice already, the last time I broke up with him. He can't find the same connection with any of them though so he emailed me that he wants to change and stop his behavior. The question is though, do you take someone like this back?

[Tears May Fall]

Kaya, thats a tricky question whether to take him back, and it all depends on whether he really has changed his ways of thinking and he has to have something to show in order to say so. Personally, i dunno if id take me back if this was 6 - 12 months ago, but it took me a long time to finally change and realize how behaving and thinking that way is going to only lead me to misery, hardship and tons of regret. It took me a lot to finally work through my screwed up frame of mind and get to point where I am today where I can finally feel like I could be in a committed relationship and love somebody unconditionally.

 

Only problem for me, the only person that I want to be with now is my ex. I didnt have so much infidelity issues with her, but one problem I felt from my end that I had to fix on my own was my issue of never being satisfied with ANYONE. Out of all the women I had ever been in relationships with, I would always look at them conditionally, find flaws (even when there really werent serious issues which would normally be overlooked), and begin to look at other women feeling like I wanted to take bits and pieces from different women and piece it together to make a molded model of a woman which I would be satisfied with.

 

This wasnt just with relationships, but in all aspects of my life. I had serious issues and I seeked professional help and it took a long time of professional help and my own work on myself from within to finally even get to where I am today, and I still have those type of thoughts occasionally but I am able to be in much more control of them now and they wont get me frustated and I can overlook it.

 

This is just my story. Everyone is different. I am living in the deepest regret because I lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me, the perfect girl for me, and I probably wont ever get her back now because of my lack of certainty and ability to make decisions and figure out what I want. This has caused me to fall into a serious situational depression for which I am now once again seeking professional help.

[dreamwarrior]

I don't need anyone else in my life to better...I left my ex because I could do better alone.

[waveseer]

I've never left someone because I thought I could do better. I've left because either they couldn't meet my needs, I couldn't meet their needs, or both.

[kayamoyan]

This is just my story. Everyone is different. I am living in the deepest regret because I lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me, the perfect girl for me, and I probably wont ever get her back now because of my lack of certainty and ability to make decisions and figure out what I want. This has caused me to fall into a serious situational depression for which I am now once again seeking professional help.

 

Perhaps you could get in touch with your ex? Just as friends first at least. No matter how much my ex hurt me, I would want him to at least contact me after he has fought his demons even if it is years from now.