Ex called...to say he's over it, or does he miss me?

[kelly ann]

After no contact for a very difficult month, I texted my ex saying "happy thanksgiving to you and your fam!" Maybe I shouldn't have, but it didn't seem right to pretend like i wasn't thinking of him at all on thanksgiving... i didn't want him to think i was doing NC because i was mad/upset about the breakup, but because i actually was moving on. he texted back saying "thanks, same to you, i was thinking about you today and i hope work and everything is going well..." to which i didn't respond.

 

today, he called me to "see how i was doing and how my thanksgiving was". he also apologized for a really angry email he sent me a month ago, which basically blamed the entire breakup on me and said he was happier than he has ever been in his life (he got a new girlfriend a week or two after our breakup...we were in a very serious relationship for a year and three months, discussing marriage, etc.). he started to tell me about how he has no hard feelings, things happen and he will always care about me, and i cut him off and said "it's okay, i dont really want to talk about this now, but i dont have hard feelings either and we're okay"... i was out with my best friend and kept the convo under 3 minutes, he tried to ask how work was and kind of rushed him off the phone (politely, not rudely). my friend was surprised to find out that he was the one i was talking to on the phone because i sounded really happy the whole time. as i was saying bye, he asked me to keep in touch.

 

my question is... do you think he's really moved on, and only called because he thinks i'm still sad about him and is taking pity on me? last i knew, he was dating someone else (who his family doesn't like and his sister says it will not last). i really don't want to talk to him at all if he's dating someone, because a new relationship a week after ours is like a slap in the face, and i am slowly getting over it... i sent that happy thanksgiving text to be nice, but was going to go NC again at least until 2009, to get me through Christmas and New Years without thinking about him. BUT, if he's actually just missing me, and if i have to do LC to win him back, i would do it... i've reflected on a lot, grown a lot, and want to be back together, but how do i figure out where he stands? i don't even know if he's still dating this other girl... and i don't want to be someone he's talking to out of pity. do i go NC again???

[MattyG]

Its hard to tell but I wouldn't overthink it. Sounds to me like he just called to apologize for the email you spoke of. I would say if you can handle the emotional aspect of it to go ahead and do some form of LC but if not and you need time to heal go NC. And if it was me I would see if I could talk to him enough to figure out if he's still seeing this other girl before I made up my mind with LC or NC. I've been there and done LC when there dating someone else it sucks.

[babes23]

I think the best thing is to believe what he said, if he said he's over it then take it that he's over with it. Otherwise you could drive yourself crazy thinking about different scenarios which probably aren't even there.

[cb663]

I think the best thing is to believe what he said, if he said he's over it then take it that he's over with it. Otherwise you could drive yourself crazy thinking about different scenarios which probably aren't even there.

i agree 100%. even if he doesnt mean it, he'll surely regret saying it and come back to you.

[Alex_B]

your best bet is probably to not think about that talk you had at all. keep doing the exact same thing you've been doing already this whole time. His tone toward you has already changed thanks to what you've been doing thus far so why change anything? whether he misses you or not the fact is he called you he wanted to talk to you. So even if he doesn't miss you he value's you as a friend now all you need to do is keep making him miss you. He called to catch up because he misses yo there is no other reason for that, the more he misses you the better so just keep doing what you have been doing this whole time.

[kelly ann]

thanks guys... again i'm touched by the responses i find on here... it's been two very long months and everyone on this website keeps me from feeling completely insane. but you're all right, i have to stop overanalyzing and just continue to live my life, because that's what he's doing. maybe one day he will want to be a part of it again, or maybe it will just keep getting better on its own... hopefully one of the two at least!