is it normal to weirdly start hurting again

[binkez32]

i split up with my first love 5months ago..it was true love and great most the time..but then i turned nasty and eventually she had enough.(lasted almost 2 years)

 

i spent a month trying to get her back but just made it worse. she got a new boyfriend not long after.

 

the first 2 mnoths i was really hurting just hopnig to get her back..then when she got a boyfriend i was shocked and the pain increased.

 

i slowly started feeling better as time went on but still had really bad nights.

 

when she splti up with her boyfriend i started feeling better until eventually about 3-4months after i felt fully myself...things seemed to just get better and better until i felt basically no pain at all. i was happy again and all was good UNTIL..

 

about a week ago i weirdly started caring more..i remember good times we had and just missed her loads and wondered if i was still in her head or heart...this got worse and worse the past week and then today she has a new boyfriend..so now i just feel awful!!!!! and its been 5 months!

[volpe]

pain ebbs and flows... it hasn't been that long really... give yourself time to heal...

[Aviatormy]

This is common actually. Especially when it was YOU that messed up in the relationship. It is much easier to move on when you know that you did nothing wrong to deserve the break-up.

 

When you are the one to mess everything up, you will always wonder what would have been had you been a better guy to her.

 

Give it time. I am sure in a few months you will be completely healed.

 

Just a question, how are you finding out about her love life? Do you have a mutual friend with her, access to her myspace/facebook?

 

I would strongly suggest that you cut off all ties and all levels of communication with her so you can not find out anything about her.

 

The less you know about an ex, the easier it is to move on.

 

I try not to talk to friends that I met through my ex for this very reason. They tend to spill the "beans" about everything that they hear. If I go to a party and this mutual friend is there... BAM!!! my ex hears about it. lol

 

Just let her go and if in the future you bump into her... then see what happens.

 

Andrew

[binkez32]

thanks people!

 

and i found out through her msn name. I used to have her deleted but she wanted to talk to me after her first boyfriend split up..So were still kind of decent friends so it would be pretty hard cutting her off completely although we barley talk anyway.

[binkez32]

also..the way i was with her at the end i still feel bad about. Every time i think of something i said or did i still get a bad feeling in my heart thinking how could i do that to someone i love. (like calling her names) and showing her no affection at all even though i loved her greatly.

 

i made her feel like i didnt care at all for about 4 months and finished her a few times even though i didnt really mean it.

and cos of all this horrible stuff i just want her to no im reeeeally sorry and that the break up really was totally my fault and i was a complete * * * * head!!

 

but i think if i told her it would either be like "whatever i dont care" or like "why are you saying it 5 months alter:S"

 

what do you think good to get off my chest or just leave it??