Treat you the worst=hardest to let go

[Supercop]

I'm having this problem right now. He broke up with me so many times and cheated on me. I'm a smart girl. But why do I think so little of myself that I let him keep hurting me?

 

After everything he has done to me, why is it so hard to let him go? Why can't I just remember all the horrible things and get him out of my mind?

[keefy1972]

After so long, a particular person or way of life turns into all that you know, and anything else is scary. So we run back to the familiar whether its good for us or not.

[Hunny1607307342]

After so long, a particular person or way of life turns into all that you know, and anything else is scary. So we run back to the familiar whether its good for us or not.

 

very wise and true

[Busto]

Maybe you're afraid you'll be lonely?

[thedude27]

When you are in a relationship like that, you spend a lot of time trying to make it work. You become focused on that aspect and forget that its really not good for you. You are so caught up in making it work that becomes your focus. When it ends, you put so much of yourself into it, its very painful. Realize its because you put all of yourself into it that its hard. Its not because he was such a great guy.

 

On the flip side, since you put so much into it you know YOU arent the one at fault, you gave it your best, it defintely wont work so its time to let go of this one and find a much better one. ok?

[JadedStar]

I do not think that those who treat you the worst are the hardest to let go. It is the ones you fall for the hardest that this happens with. And for some people it was a person who treated them well but who broke up, for others someone didnt' treat them well. But i don't think there is any science that reveals that those who treat you the worst are the hardest to get over.

 

And i think if you concentrate on the BAD times and stop glorifying the relationship you too will find that you will get over this quicker.

[Zeitgeist]

After so long, a particular person or way of life turns into all that you know, and anything else is scary. So we run back to the familiar whether its good for us or not.

Such a succinct and yet fundamentally true statement. Well put.

[JadedStar]

After so long, a particular person or way of life turns into all that you know, and anything else is scary. So we run back to the familiar whether its good for us or not.

 

This is true and reminds me of people who were in prison for many many years. Even that becomes "normal" to them and anything else is scary.

[RougeKali823]

I have the same problem and my therapist says its me returning to the familiar and being fearful of something thats not toxic.

[Abbygail]

I have this exact same problem.

[littlestar]

I'm having this problem right now. He broke up with me so many times and cheated on me. I'm a smart girl. But why do I think so little of myself that I let him keep hurting me?

 

After everything he has done to me, why is it so hard to let him go? Why can't I just remember all the horrible things and get him out of my mind?

 

Wow....after reading your post, i had to check who had posted this thread, sounds like exactly what i am going through!!!

 

Mine treated me so badly and thats why i walked away and now all i do is look back and make excuses for his behaviour. It's hard to let go that's for sure.