ok so "no contact" is working "now what?&quot

[rich_1517]

She is doing exactly what the rule book says. Background: She broke up with me two weeks ago. "need space". i was uncommital after two invites to move in stating wanting to see her progress in some areas (we are three years). After breakup i immediately realised i had been selfish and uncommittal, told her so then began no contact. There are problems no doubt but i wasnt real peachy the last couple of months.

 

So shes calling, "i saw a massage table and thought you might like me to help you buy it" - "I have no life/friends", lots of joking up beat. I did the hey im glad you called, but im running late, its ok to call.

 

Now what, i dont know if it will stop here, im scared that she is just lonely and using me but is still moving on, Example: i said my roomate had been my date this week (male/joke) she said see your getting dates already im not.

 

Any suggestions - let her be in the drivers seat to suggest doing something more than chat on the phone? Help

[Apoc220]

Sounds like she's looking for an ego boost. I wouldn't ask her if she is reconsidering because it will blow up in your face if she isn't and is just looking for a stroke on her ego. You say she just broke up with you two weeks ago, sounds to me like she is just lonely and is looking for good ol' rhone to keep her occupied. This is classic, ive seen it many times on these boards (and have expirienced it myself). The girl needs someone to entertain her while she is bored, and then she turns on the charms and goes to the guy that will fall for it (i.e. you). You cave in... she has her fun... she doesnt contact you for a week... your devestated. The sad thing is if you dont wise up after its done to you its a vicious cycle and she'll keep on doing it until she finds another guy. Dude, she said she needed space, so give it to her. This could be her testing you to see if you'll violate the space she has asked you for and will come running back to her. Don't give her the pleasure. If you want her back then make HER work for your attention. People value what they have to work for in life and now what is placed on a silver plate with the trimmings for them. Good luck man, and dont stress, you're doing good!

[DealingWithIt]

ignore, ignore, ignore. i agree that its only an ego boost for them and it does nothing to you but let you keep on hanging on/hoping things will be better but you know what...the opposite happens. ask yourself if you want to get hurt again by the same person.

[mickmorley]

I am in exactly the same situation currently. Although we have been broken up now for 2.5 months (does not seem that long), I miss her, and she has come back to me several times, staying with me, seems like only when she is lonly and she uses me to boost her then she treats me like a stranger again... So I know i should just cut all contact, i love her, but I don't want to be hurt again...

 

So take my advice, you have to have the no contact thing for a while. You're doing great mate... just hang in there... don't mess up like i have, it just prolongs the hurt... She will relise what she has done soon enough, and when she is ready, you will know... Good luck... I am doing the same thing...

PM me if you need to chat...