Feel like I dont know how to date again

[Tears May Fall]

So im clearly determined my ex is over me and there is no chance of us getting back together. So im trying to finally learn to move on, but its just so hard. Its been 10 months since we broke up, but only recently did it feel like it was actually finally over over. Now i know for a fact she is in a serious relationship with a new guy and my chances are over and done with.

 

So im trying to date again...but my confidence feels so low. Its like I guage my happiness based on my success with women. If im getting positive results, I feel great about myself, but if Im getting rejected or negative vibes from females, then I feel horrible and hate being single. When I was in a relationship, I would wanna be single, but when I was single, I would quickly realize how I wasn't exactly good at being single, wasnt the type to be smooth with the ladies, etc. It would be at these points that I wish I was in a relationship again, but I would have a hard time finding someone new. In the past though, once I got a date I didnt mind playing the dating game to attract one another and play tug of war and chasing and all the games in the beginning to build attraction and get to know one another, that was all fun for me a few years ago, but it doesnt seem fun anymore. I feel too lazy and not confident enough for that anymore, especially because I havent done it in such a long time.

 

Now dont get me wrong, I feel as though Im a great flirt, I can hold a conversation (as long as you actually talk back), I know how to be comfortable around women, I know dating game as well as dating etiquette and Ive never been denied a second date. BUT, and the BIG BUT i have here, is that almost all the girlfriends Ive ever had (about 6 or 7) basically in some way or another either A) approached me or asked me out B) were so direct with me in displaying their interest towards me and just gave me their number and said to call them or C) it was a mutual introduction and I knew from a third party source that there was interest from the girl. So basically up until this point, all the girls Ive ever dated were just shear luck and they landed on me, I didnt necessarily choose them or chase them and try to convince them to go on a date with me. Ive almost never chased to that extent, if a girl wasnt interested in me the first time, I didnt try bother beyond that or try to plead or "beg."

 

But what im saying in a nutshell is that Ive never chose out my women, theyve all basically been handed to me. And that makes it A LOT easier when you're dating because you've got half the battle won, now you just have to maintain it and not mess it up.

 

But its different now, I dont get the desire to date again. Its not even that I get nervous to meet new women, its more like I dont even bother. I make excuses for myself, or if I see an attractive female I make excuses not to approach her. Even if I get a number, I wont insistently try and show interest, it'll be very lackluster and basically if it happens it happens if not oh well. Im not taking a take charge attitude with dating and I need to learn how to change that but the question is, do i REALLY want to...or am I going to continue living in this comfort of not having to worry about getting to know someone new and impressing someone and all the things involved in meeting a new person....

 

I feel as though Im only miserable when Im single

[thejigsup]

If you're not read to date, that's fine. Don't put any pressure on yourself. When you look forward to doing all those things again, you will be ready.

[Tears May Fall]

I know and I sometimes feel as though Im not ready to but sometimes I feel as though Im just making excuses for myself...problem is I get really lonely and depressed without someone to even talk to or spend some time with, and hanging with the friends hasnt been cutting it much anymore