So Hurt

[SimplyMe47]

i just had to break up with my girlfriend. i didnt want to but the night before we were talking and she said she wasn't happy with our relationship , it wasn't exciting and she didnt want a relationship anymore. so the next day i went and broke up with her i had no other choice she forced me into it also the night before i told if shes not happy break up with me but she said she doesn't have the heart to. so i did. and now im so hurt and upset she told me why dont we just be together but dont date is this a good idea what do i do help me please.

[ApplePeace]

just get away from her, shes a loser you can find a way better person.

[SimplyMe47]

i don't know if i can she was a big part of my life she was there for me alot for the past 2 years she was even at my fathers funeral she was very supportive. and i have to see her everyday. she keeps talking to me i dont know what to do

[Tyler82]

I am sorry to hear you are hurt. I am going through the same thing. GF of 5 and a half years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Her reasoning was that she had doubts about our future even though our relationship was so strong.

 

If your gf doesnt want to be in a relationship, then you made the right decision to end it there. As far as being together and dont date, what does this mean? If you are hurting and the thought of not being with her hurts you, you should give it space and time.

 

Your heart needs to heal and you mind needs to learn to be without her. It will also give her time to really think about the relationship and if not being with you is really what she wants. My girlfriend moved to a friends and said she needed space and time but keeps contacting me avery few days to see how my apartment hunting is going. Everytime I get an email it kills me that we are not together. So my advice to you is, give her space and yourself space. Read some of the other forums on here and the advice that is available. It really helps.

[CarrieB123]

"just be together but dont date"

 

was she clear on what this meant? Can you "just be together" with other people? what will change? what will be the same?

[SimplyMe47]

as far as the together thing she means we act like we are dating do the same stuff but with out the limitations of a relationship. Her thought about this is that this is all she can give right now and its less pressure for her to deal with. She also thinks it will make some excitement by her not knowing what i might do next, with other ppl i mean.

[atlanticstar]

Sorry to hear about that SM.

 

The old chestnut of the 'excitement' not there hey. I've had that one before. Well, that fades with time (as we all know). For me, I want someone to love me for whom I am, someone that just wants to be with me regardless of what we're doing or where we're at.

 

If she wants excitement then she's not right for you. Woman who crave excitement will never settle down in my opinion and are a loose cannon waiting to go off. They need constant entertainment. I've never wanted to be a children’s entertainer and I'm sure you don't either.

 

Unless going back to 'messing around' is what you want (and you can emotionally deal with that), I'd say let it go and give it space and some time. She might realise she's messed up, was childish and come back and apologise.

 

Hang in there.

[ponder36]

to add, dont hold onto to the notion that she may come back. that will only prolong the letting go. you need to think that it is over for good. that you will never see each other and never be together. All that was shared are memories now and hopefully one day soon, you will be able to look back at those memories and not fell any discomfort or loss.