liberated Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 Okay here is the deal - I just started dating this amazingly sweet man who thinks the world of me. I have dated such jerks in the past and feel terrible for even writing this. BUT, every time he kisses me, I swear i just want to SREAM it's so bad. There's just too much saliva juice, and only after a few smooches he rams his tongue down my throat! Absolutely no finesse What should I do? I fear that if he can't kiss right, how will he be able to do anything else right? Ooooh, this is so petty of me, but I'm frustrated. Or maybe I'm just looking for something to find wrong with him because of past experiences and my own fear of commitment. What do you think....? Link to comment
Frodo Baggins Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 How's the level of communication between the two of you? If he's doing something that you don't like, you should tell him, you shouldn't be ashamed to let him know that his technique needs work, it's something I'm sure he would want to improve on. But do so in a gentle manner. Don't run over his feelings with a steamroller, though I know you wouldn't do that. You want to have excellent communication first before proceeding, it's a delicate matter, and you don't want to hurt his feelings. You two need to trust each other first and have a level of understanding that you telling him wouldn't be a criticism of him, but rather something that will HELP him, not put him down. So yeah, if you have the communication, you can recommend that he take it slower, maybe control the saliva a little, and not probe so much with the tongue, but do so gently, and at the appropriate time. Not when you two are kissing, that would spoil the mood and make him self-conscious. Find a time when you two are alone and you feel it would be okay to talk about something so intimate. Link to comment
liltasha Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 I've gone through the same thing! Although in my case it was the first kiss when he rammed his tongue down my throat! The other poster is right - you should talk to him although it'll feel a bit awkward! I can't talk though - I haven't mentioned it! Didn't want to hurt his feelings! Link to comment
routerx Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 Nothing is more sexy than a partner teaching you how to kiss. I taught a girl how to kiss once and she loved me for it. Just be honest with him. You'll have to do the same thing in bed right? I mean, if he is not performing well, you should be able to talk to him and he should be able to adjust. Honesty. If you don't have that, what do you really have? Link to comment
liltasha Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 i guess the difficult thing is how to do it without hurting their feelings. Any advice on how? Link to comment
SmintyMinty Posted January 28, 2004 Share Posted January 28, 2004 I've guess out of the guys I dated two of them were really terrible kissers but theycan be fixed! If it's the first kiss give it a bit of time - he just needs to know what you like and the best way to do it is to take the initiative when you kiss him and do what you like! He should copy what you do and before you know it he'll be kissing good! If he's giving too much gagging tongue action, I used to pull back a little bit and stop giving him tongue and move back to kisses on the lips and then gradually when I sense him taking it slower I'll gradually give him tongue again. Another trick I tried with a guy once - (he was totally passionate about me so I can understand why he was doing the whole deep hard fast tongue thing) was to play a little game! I'd tell him he has to lie back and let me kiss him how I want for 10-15 minutes and he can't do anything and if he does want to do it he has to copy me!!! This is kinda fun and doesn't hurt their feelings...it's real sexy too once you get going and believe me he'll know what you like after that and you don't have to say a thing! The guy i did it with was really flattered and loved it as he just had to sit back and enjoy! Hope this helps!!! Link to comment
liberated Posted January 29, 2004 Author Share Posted January 29, 2004 Thank you, Thank you, thank you for the advice. I'll let you know how it goes! Link to comment
TrappedMind Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Well it also depends on the girl I think. Some girls like a lot of saliva when you kiss... not like dripping out of the mouth saliva, just enough to know that it's a wet kiss. My ex said I was a good kisser but the next girl can say I'm crap. Link to comment
kamui Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Kissing is something that everyone has to start at one point, everyone was a beginner at one point. Kisses and Kissing should be special heart felt to show the love and passion that a couple holds. Talk to him tell him where he's going wrong, he's not going to hate you for doing that or teach him how to kiss better. As they say "Practice makes Perfect" and not everyone's perfect. Hope this has helped in some way. -[ kamui ]- Link to comment
liberated Posted April 21, 2004 Author Share Posted April 21, 2004 I solved the issue: We no longer date. No, I didn't break it off because of his kissing abilities. I discovered other traits about his person that I found undesirable. thank you all for your feedback! Link to comment
Stupid4Her Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 I agree with these other posts. you should tell this guy what he's doing wrong and how to improve it. But don't make fun of him when you do it. Like they said, try to teach him. Show him how you want to be kissed and it will get better. Link to comment
Finch Posted May 17, 2004 Share Posted May 17, 2004 This exact same thing happened with my ex-girlfriend. I was a horrible kisser because I had never done it before. I had no idea what I was doing and she didn't do anything to help. It was so bad that she would make up lies to avoid to kiss me or just totally avoid it. That hurt the worse. I knew I wasn't a good kisser, but how am I supposed to improve if I can't even get any practice. I would have liked for her to try and help me with it. Of course I would be embrassed at first, but it wouldn't be that bad. I would quickly get over it and appreciate the fact that she was willing to help me and improve things. Instead she made me feel stupid and I got worse and worse each time I kissed because I would tense up worrying that she wouldn't enjoy kissing me. Oh well.. I would take your boyfriend aside and try and train him. At first I wouldn't let him become aware that you were trying to train him, but if that doesn't work then just tell him that you want to help him. In the long run it will improve things drastically for both of you, I'm sure. Link to comment
guitargirl Posted May 18, 2004 Share Posted May 18, 2004 oh, here's something I've done before...may sound stupid, but it is only a suggestion. ok, so after kissing him, ask him to tell you what he likes and dislikes about the way you kiss. Then, tell him the same about his teqnique(gently!). This way you do not single him out or make him feel inferior. Sincerely, **Hannah** Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now