still can't breathe but you are all making it a bit better

[aloneagain41]

I thought I'd give more information on my relationship and how wonderful it was. We truly hit it off from the second we met. We laughed, listened, loved, had amazing chemistry in and out of the bedroom. The morning of the breakup he still told me he loved me and in an email even said he couldn't wait to call me as it was the best part of his day. It is so hard to lose someone that you love and that you know loves you. I do wish I could be angry with him but I'm more angry that my exhusband who destroyed our family continues to effect my life negatively. My boyfriend said before he ended the relationship that he felt bad that he couldn't give me more time and that if he could just introduce his children to me and my children that would give all of us more time together, but he can't and doesn't believe his children are ready. I totally agreed with him. He then said it could be another year before I think they are ready. I said, that's fine with me. They come first and you need to do what is best for them. But I suppose that is adding to the pressure of trying to keep me happy by wanting to be with me more. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't be upset and demand that I meet his children and I said it was because he is a wonderful man that I've waited a lifetime for and waiting another year would be so easy. Again, I think he feels he needs to make everyone happy. He said he is struggling everday to make me, his kids and himself happy and he just can't do it anymore. I'm sure some of this is repetitive, but I'm grasping here and hoping that by writing all of this I will feel better. That isn't happening as I keep playing different endings in my head and they all point to him missing me and realizing that having me in his life made things easier to deal with and he will come back when he's ready. Well enough for now, time to take care of the kids. I appreciate all the messages and help.

 

One more thing, there are things that we shared and a connection that we made that was like nothing I had ever experienced. I'm 41 and each time I've met someone I've always prayed it would be the "last one" and this time I truly believed that. He said that I was the woman he had always dreamed about but didn't think existed. He said when he saw me the first time, his heart honestly skipped a beat. I was the most loving, caring person not only in the way we talked but in the way I touched him and he then said that he knew he was making the biggest mistake of his life and that he was sure to be sorry for it someday. It hurts like hell to know that someone feels that way and you can't be with them. I wonder why God would send me my angel and then take him away. I've tried to think of what I'm supposed to have learned and well it is in no way apparent to me right now. How can 2 people who seem so very made for eachother be forced to live apart?

[Karmageddon]

I don't really see the part here where you are "forced to live apart". What was the reason for breaking up?

[aloneagain41]

I don't really see the part here where you are "forced to live apart". What was the reason for breaking up?

he said it was because my exhusband is a "deadbeat" and he can't wrap his mind around how someone can not take care of his children. he also said that he is not a happy person right now and struggling to make me happy, his children, happy and himself and though none of it is fair to me he feels he needs to end this in order to get to the place he needs to be. he said his children are young and he doesn't want to mess them up more than they already are. mind you prior to the break up i received my regular morning email from him that contained a lot of things that are upsetting him, but that he could not wait for the morning phone call to me as that is the best part of his day and closing with i love you angel. i'm falling further and further today, and struggling to cope and cannot seem to do anything to keep it off my mind. i desperately want him to call, write, something and tell me it was all a mistake and that he knew he was making a mistake and wants us not to break up anymore....GOD IS THAT POSSIBLE!

[Karmageddon]

Hey sweetie, I don't mean this to sound at all rude, but I think all of that is complete crap.

 

When you love someone, they are your rock, the person you can always count on through the good and bad times. Things go bad, you should be the first person he calls to just vent to you b/c not only are you lovers but you are the best of friends, right? So as far as the kids are concerned, sure, maybe they don't need to have a new woman inserted in their life right now, but really? How long has he been separated? They don't have to know that he is dating & if they ask, its none of their business until further notice. I just know that no one is to busy for a relationship that they want. If he wanted it he would have sat you down and made it work. He sounds very much like my ex boyfriend. Leave him be, I know it sucks and its hard & I am so sorry for you but you deserve better than this line of baloney. Which I think you secretly know down deep, that's exactly what it is..baloney. I doubt there is nothing you wouldn't have done for him to make it work.

[phoenix999]

Hi there, i know how you are feeling now. i am going thru a breakup / patchup thing now. it's been more than a week now, i am going to tell you this is what i went through, i am not trying to imply anything about how your man feels towards you.

 

after we broke up, all his sweet words came ringing in my mind. like what you wrote "He said that I was the woman he had always dreamed about but didn't think existed. He said when he saw me the first time, his heart honestly skipped a beat." etc etc, promising the heaven and the earth. all his promises sounded like knives slashing at my heart, tears flowed and flowed. i couldn't believe he didn't love me.

 

as days passed by, these words appeared more and more hollow, more and more meaningless. today is my tenth day, and i no longer believe those words, and those words don't hurt me anymore.

 

i could be already permanently scarred. i may not believe again in words. which is good, that means i have emerged stronger ( or jaded, if you want to look at it negatively.)

 

he will be meeting me tomorrow, he had tried to patch things up these two days, but he no longer have that magic hold on me. i am still attracted to him, from now onwards, i will take him lightly, keep him as an entertainment. i feel liberated. you know, what i learned is " the one who cares less, wins."

[Umlunguusa]

I had a very similiar problem. I fell for the sweet words, namely "I love you" and "I'll always be there for you", but...she couldn't care less, and two days before our breakup, she told me she "loved me more than anything".

 

why did we really breakup then? I needed to talk to her about me having failing health--and she told me "well, that sucks, but it can wait". I was mortified that, this girl, this girl who was supposed to be my one and only, could care less. I knew right then and there that she didn't care like she said she did.