Single and No Longer Playing Games

[routerx]

Yesterday I wrote eNotAlone members that I met a woman who I thought was the perfect fit for me and I wasn't sure how to proceed. I got some advice from eNotAlone users saying "go for it right away". I also got advice from a woman co-worker saying I should act cool and not call for a week.

I decided to "go for it".

I then wrote eNotAlone AGAIN having people check over my e-mail to her because that's all I had to work with, an e-mail address. Well, here is her reply:

 

___________________________

 

Hi Dave,

 

Pleasant surprise getting an email from you today! I enjoyed talking with

you last night as well. And... yes, I'd love to get together sometime.

This weekend is a bit full already with a friend in town, etc. However,

Friday night is open. Or we could try sometime next week, of course.

 

You can reach me at home at: 773.xxx.xxxx

My cell, which sometimes is best way to get hold of me... 773.xxx.xxxx

 

Talk to you soon,

 

~Joy

 

____________________________

 

Thanks everyone.

 

LESSON LEARNED: WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE YOU LIKE, YOU HAVE TO GO FOR IT RIGHT AWAY. DON'T LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO SAY "ACT COOL". FORGET THAT, JUST TELL THEM WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, RIGHT AWAY. DON'T WASTE A MINUTE!

[akatoro]

Good going, Routerx!

I hope it works out for the two of you

[Ash]

Actually, personally, I think you were lucky this time. I missed the chance to reply originally, but I would have said there was considerable risk in telling her all that you did in one go that, rather than build a friendship first more slowly. Asking her out was an all or nothing proposition. I am happy it worked out though.

 

Be careful, and step slowly. I've read your posts on the board over time, and I know that if this doesn't work out, you'll feel badly burned. Just prepare yourself slightly on the off chance that her friend is possibly a close friend, and don't set yourself up for hurt, ok? Tread carefully my friend. I think you'll do fine though, I hope you do anyway.

[MollyElise]

Glad to hear you got a good reaction Routerx! Now for the date part! Im sure hope that you have a great time.

 

Good luck, and keep us updated.

[vfunkera]

Routerx,

 

you posted a while ago giving everyone advice on what to and not to do in life. I remember you said you didnt have love in your life, but will soon. Well, you are one very lucky man, and hopefully you can share your wisdom and success with us. All i can offer you is precautions, and that would be exactly what Ash said.

 

'Just do it!'

 

 

[Derek]

going for it quickly does show some confidence and purposefulness

which is attractive for ladies.

 

Always being a man with a plan is a good thing.

 

The issue about calling or not calling and when...

Alot of people have "The Rules" about this..

 

I say screw 'em,

 

after the "date" before she gets home that same night,

call her answering machine and say you had a great

time and thank her for the good conversation and that's all.

 

But dont' commit to anything more until another phone

call or whenever you want.

 

 

[WomackC706]

That is sooo cool and awesome! CONGRATS!

 

I hope it all works out!

 

Moral of the story: Guys, call or write whenever you can! Girls love it and it shows how interested you are!

[Ash]

Um, yeah. Is the plan is to rush into things? Hmm, odd sense of planning derek!!

 

There are no written 'rules' for this type of thing. But I think you need to stop and consider who routerx is. Read some of his previous posts. He's not like you, I would suspect. Being forward and confident might be your style, but it doesn't work for everybody. Will it work for him? Well, it seems to be so far.

 

It depends on the lady too.

 

I was simply handing out some advice from the way I see things. I'm a similar (older) age to routerx, and things do change somewhat as we get older. Just my two cents though. Take it or leave it.

 

Why tell me to screw off. Was that particularly necessary? Let's just call it even then. You fired a shot at me, I'll just sit here and take it.

 

Perhaps you're right in some ways, don't get me wrong. But there's no need to step on toes to make a point.

[routerx]

I appreciate it all advice, positive and cautious. But let's face it, eventually we have to make the decision that feels right in our heart. Even if she would have turned me down, I know that I went for it during a small window of opportunity. It's been a while since I've done that and it feels great.

 

I'll update you all.

[Derek]

Ash, I was talking about "The Rules" book for women, I wasn't talking about your comments I was talking generally.

 

I haven't read all the previous posting history so I cede to your judgement

regarding the original thread.

 

It is absolutely important to go slow or you can scare people off.

There needs to be some judgement regarding what is receptive

to the other person. Some people won't like an aggressive approach.

My thought process was just about the first few fun light hearted dates,

not about getting married yet.

 

And if one is wanting a long term relationship, building intimacy slowly is the right approach. People too often jump the gun and both parties pull away because of fear.