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Why do people cheat?


valweewee

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I disagree.

 

I think people cheat for various reasons and none of which can be applied universally. There are some people that are very happy in their relationships and cheat. Others are miserable. It just depends. The bottom line is there is never a justifiable reason to cheat on someone. I think someone can be in a long term affair and still love their spouse. The cheating wrap is 100% on the cheater...not the unsuspecting partner. If you are bored or not getting what you want, get out. Don't torture the other person.

 

I left my husband but before he finally moved out, I had another boyfriend for months. I told him after we separated but months before he finally moved that I was seeing someone else. My husband. Not some random boyfriend. It's not fair to string someone along while you try and figure out what you want. He didn't believe me when I told him I wanted a divorce so he hung around trying to get me to change my mind. Eventually he moved after I threw his clothes out and called the cops five times to get him out. Now imagine if I didn't tell him and all that time he was trying while thinking I was not involved with someone else. It would have hurt him a whole lot more than it already did.

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People cheat because relationships become stale and boring(not all of them though).

Cheaters are looking for something different,a variety so to speak.Excitement that their not getting in their current relationship.

 

Oh, how do I respond to THIS and not get banned from this board?????

 

Stale and boring? Has that been your experience in relationships? We're not talking about McDonald's here, where you eat at Mickie D's every day of the week and then decide to find some "excitement" over at Arby's!

 

And regarding the part of your statement that says, "Excitement that their not getting in their current relationship," who the heck's fault is that?! If you're specifically talking about the "excitement" of an illicit affair, then I'm sure you're 100% correct that they should NOT be 'getting that' if they are in a commited relationship. But regarding excitement in their current relationship: do you know how many times I've heard/read about people having affairs, who are over-loaded at Uni or working their way up the ladder at work with impossible hours, thereby CHEATING their partners of THEIR company and time....only to find out that they do suddenly find the time in their busy/busy schedule for infinite text sessions/afternoon motel visits/blogging and Facebooking.

 

If these cheaters gave a rat's ass about their suffering partner at home, they would take those 2-3 hours of CHEATING TIME and bring it back home, where it belongs and thereby erase boredom and add excitement back into their relationship.

 

When I was a florist, you have NO idea how many cheating losers would come in and send $100 bouquets to their mistresses while their trophy wife at home, who maybe gained some weight with their fifth kid was washing this guy's tidy whiteys and making the house clean for his dinner with the boss.

 

There are only 24 hours in anyone's day: cheaters or non-cheaters. If you can find the time to cheat, you can take that same amount of time and invest it back into the relationship that made you all hot and bothered to begin with. Or, if it's THAT dull and boring, move out and on.

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I cheated because sex got boring and I was sexually attracted to another man, turned out to be about the same as sex with my then husband. I hate that I commited adultry and won't ever do it again. But I also wanted a biblical excuse to divorce and adultry fits the bill.

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People cheat because relationships become stale and boring(not all of them though).

Cheaters are looking for something different,a variety so to speak.Excitement that their not getting in their current relationship.

 

I agree. Definitely one reason why ppl cheat. But I would word it....WHEN relationships become stale and boring.

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Sometimes people cheat when they fear they are already being cheated on, kind of an I'll get you before I find out you're getting me thing. Lack of communication and trust.

 

 

God that's so true.

 

It almost hapened to me, although i"m so "not that type of girl"!!!

I never ended up cheating but there was a moment when I really felt good flirting and doing things behind his back.

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People cheat because relationships become stale and boring(not all of them though).

Cheaters are looking for something different,a variety so to speak.Excitement that their not getting in their current relationship.

 

If that is the case and a relationship has become 'stale and boring', then why do people remain in that relationship?

 

Surely the sensible thing to do, is to call it quits and LEAVE....

 

Not exactly 'rocket science' is it...

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Sometimes you can't just walk out of a relationship. There may be too many other factors involved such as children, real estate, ect.

 

Sometimes relationships do get stale and boring and you end up becoming roomates instead.

 

Its nice to feel loved every once in awhile. I think that drives some people to cheat as well.

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