Go with your heart not the no contact rule

[MISSINGYOU2004]

Hello everyone,

 

i am soooo happy right now its the best feeling ever, last week on sunday my girlfriend broke up with me officially, please read breaking up section titled: breaking up

my girlfriend calls me and tells me she got back with her ex

 

anyways deep in my heart i knew that i was the one who messed up and caused her to go back to her ex, because of her pain or maybe she was rebounding, i started to read the posts what do i do how can i get her back, some people told me to do the no contact rule and she will come back to me if she still cared for me, they said no more contact no matter what, i followed that advice for like a day, i couldnt take it:

 

last sunday, she broke me the news, we then went out to dinner as friends, monday i called her, left her a message no reply, tuesday i called her she was at school, told me she would call back, when i got back home i saw there was a missed call from her, this is where i got the green light, that maybe there is some hope, wednesday i called her left her a message to come see me for a few minutes still no reply,

still i didnt give up.

 

Thursday i sent her a card, and since it was her brothers birday on the previous monday, sent her brother a small present, on friday she called back to say thank you to me, i didnt pick up she left a message.

 

Friday night all night i was listening to her message over and over again, i knew that deeply i loved this girl and that i needed to get her back any way that i could.

 

So on saturday i called her and left her a message, no call back, again i called her left her a message, told her to call me back i have to tell her something very important, in a few hours she called back.

 

I told her i needed to talk to her, i told her my side i apologized spilled out my hear to her, i told her do you love your ex boyfriend that you are with now, if you do please tell me so i can move on, i respect your decision if you do. She could not tell me that she loved him, she had simply gone back with him because of the pain i put her throw, it was a rebound.

 

I told her i wanted to see her for dinner, she said okay i went to her house we went to dinner and i talked over dinner she was like what do you want to tell me.

 

I was like is there any way i have another chance with you, she looked thought for a while and was like how can i trust you after all you have put me through, how do i know you are going to change, i was like i am and only time can tell.

 

So basically after all this long talk, she told me that she still likes me, and that we can work things out, and know she has to find a way to get rid of her ex boyfriend.

 

We went back to her house to drop her off, her parents told me her, her exboyfriend had come by, she had told her ex that she was tired and was going to go sleep soon, but her parents told the ex, that she had gone out to dinner with me.

 

Wish me luck everyone, she told me she will come visit me today, does anyone have any advice about getting back together and making it work, will it work, will i make the same mistakes, any advice anyone, i really care for this girl and love this girl, she means a lot to me, please anyone who has gone back to their ex's let me know the pros and cons, thank you very much for listening to my story.

[Michael2]

THis girl dumps you and goes back to her ex are you kidding me.

 

You are being played, can you not see this. The no contact rule is important. For one, you cant make this girl fall in love with you, so by calling her day after day you are pushing her farther away.

 

 

STOP CALLING. We have all been in your situation. Gain back your self respect. This girl has you hooked and is loving every minute of it. You havent even given her the chance to miss you yet. Dont believe a word she says. She tells you that she wants to work things out. Dont you think he she did, and truly loved and respected you she wouldnt jump into the sack with another dude. Oh man. Stop calling her and tell her to stop stepping all over yoiur heart.

[MISSINGYOU2004]

michael,

 

over dinner last night she told me that she will get rid of her ex, dont you think that means something. i was the one who messed up, she went back to her ex as a rebound, so she does not go through pain, please let me know your opinion.

 

so are you telling me once its over its over, she told me it will take some time for her to regain the trust back from me, deep down i know she really luvs me and misses me, or maybe do you think i should move on, i have not been in luv like this for a long time.

 

i have dated other girls when she told me she was with her ex, but when i went with them i didnt feel anything, i still had feelings for this girl, please let me know do i move on, i really dont want to move on, i think that she is a good girl and that things can work out.

 

please let me know what you think or anyone else thinks thank

[luckystar]

it is way tooooooo soon to tell how this will play out.......things happened way too fast after your breakup....

 

you were broken up one week and she has realized what she wants??? one week is not enough time for her to figure her head and think clearly about something of this nature....

 

you may or may not get hurt in the end, but unless there is some time in between something like this, the chances are less that it will work in my humble opinion

[Apoc220]

I agree,

I'll use my friend as an example. He and his girl broke up on a wednesday two weeks ago. He was crushed, I told him about the no contact rule. He followed it for a day then SHE came to him the nest day and told him that she wanted to come back to him. He (of course) agreed.

 

Yeah.... that lasted long (sarcasm). Three days ago she broke up with him again. Luckily after the advice that I gave him he SEEMS like hes gonna make it with his heart in place.

 

Now... MissingYou, you messed up. Heres how you messed up. Dude, you are seriously telling me that you called this girl EVERYDAY for a week after she broke up with you? You know what this girl was thinking? "Damn, this dude cant get enough of me. If hes gonna do this I wonder what else he'll do?" In other words, it was a MAJOR ego stroke for her. You put the ball on her side of the court and strapped yourself to the basket on the other side: in other words, she is now in TOTAL control. Personally I think if you would have followed no contact then you could have shown her that you have pride and dignity. VERY respectable qualities. What you showed her was that you need her, and she cant respect you if your gonna get on your knees and beg her to come back.

Im not saying that shes gonna dump you, it MIGHT work by a stroke of luck. I doubt it though, she has the ball in her court after you jumped through hoops for her. Watch your heart man, cause this sounds to me like shes using you for an ego boost.

[dksh44]

Man get your head out of your arse!!your gonna be played like a piano been there been done like that!the heart sometimes makes you do stupid things follow the no contact rule its best for you to heal and kick her to the curb!!!SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN TRUST ME LET HER GO!!!! YOUR BETTER THAN THAT!!!Sorry for being blunt but wake up dont drag it out!!!ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MISSINGYOU2004]

Everyone who posted to my post, and gave me a message was right, this girl is playing with me, no more contact, she keeps playing games with me, i dont know what the deal is i cant take this anymore, i need to stop contact with her, if she calls i will keep the conversation very short or i will not pick up the phone, no more contact, this girl is driving me soo crazy i dont know what i do, i need to focus my mind on new things and not this old stuff, i guess once an ex there is never any luck for getting back together, i really luv her and i guess i have to be a man and move on, so sorry guys, no more contact it will be difficult but i will do it. Thank you again everyone

[Michael2]

Its obvious you still want to win her back.

 

Want to know how, DONT CONTACT her.

 

If she calls, ignore her, if she texted through cell disregard it, she IM's you block it, she emails you delete it.

 

Get the point. She has to start missing you again, thereforeeee when you make yourself available you are still allowing her to control your strings like a puppet.

 

If you do pickup up the phone, then make it short, and I mean short, less then 5 minutes. If she insists on talking day in and day out, you have to work up the courage and tell her to stop calling you because you want to move on and heel. I GUARANTEE she will be in shock and will do an about face.

 

You still have the chance to win out on this situation. I wish the advice others are offering you was offered to me when I first brokeup with the ex.

[MISSINGYOU2004]

HELLO,

 

I HAVE HAD NO CONTACT WITH MY EX FOR 1 DAY, ITS HARD MY FRIEND SAYS I SHOULD BUY HER A DIAMOND BRACELET THAT SAYS THIS IS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE AND RESPECT FOR YOU, AND IT IS TO SHOW YOU THAT I WILL NEVER HURT YOU AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK OF THIS.

 

IN MY OPINION MY EX IS GETTING REVENGE ON ME, I DIDNT CONTACT HER FOR 2 MONTHS AND LET HER GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN, SO I THINK SHE IS TESTING ME OUT, TO SEE IF I HAVE CHANGED AND WILL DO THE SAME FOR HER.

 

AS EVERYONE ON THIS POST WILL SAY TO BE, NO CONTACT IS THE BEST BET TO DO.

 

BUT I HAVE ALSO STARTED TALKING TO THIS NEW GIRL SO I CAN TRY TO MOVE ON, SHE CALLS ME EVERY DAY AND WE HAVE LONG CONVERSATIONS, NOW IM STARTING TO LIKE THIS NEW GIRL, NOW IM SUPER CONFUSED WHAT DO I DO, I DO NOT WANT TO HURT MY EX, I DO NOT WANT TO HURT THIS NEW GIRL.

 

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEE, SHOULD I LEAVE MY EX IN THE PAST AND LET THE PAST BE IN THE PAST AND GO FOR THE PRESENT WITH THIS NEW GIRL.

 

WHAT SHOULD I DO, I LUV MY EX REALLY MUCH, WE HAVE HAD 6 MONTHS OF TIME TOGETHER , THIS NEW GIRL IS PRETTY GOOD TOO.

[Apoc220]

Ok, if you TRULY want to move along with your life there are somethings you should grasp right now.

 

1. Your Ex-Girlfriend is exactley that, your EX girlfriend.

The relationship had a beginning, a middle, and an unfortunate end. You have to accept the fact that this girl is not a part of your life anymore. You HAD a relationship with her, but now its over. She has officially become just another woman who is roaming the earth.

 

2. You don't owe your ex-girlfriend anything.

"MY FRIEND SAYS I SHOULD BUY HER A DIAMOND BRACELET THAT SAYS THIS IS A SYMBOL OF MY LOVE AND RESPECT FOR YOU, AND IT IS TO SHOW YOU THAT I WILL NEVER HURT YOU AGAIN"

Are you serious? This girl dumps you, had the audacity to call you and tell you "yeah, im back with my ex." And then comes back for more? Dude, buying her ANYTHING would be like honoring Saddam Hussein for all the terror he put Iraq through. She not only played you, but she even put her ex into the mix. She used you two as pawns in a game of her making, and you guys were played silly. Its not your fault though, she is a woman, and for many of us guys we fall for women that take away our reasoning and make us melt like silly putty.

 

3. When a situation like this comes along, you have to move on.

Its been said many times, but ill repeat it. MOVE ON! You have the chance to take control of your life and make yourself a better person, and you question it with the possibility that this girl will take you back as if you are privelaged to have her stand near you! You said it yourself:

I HAVE ALSO STARTED TALKING TO THIS NEW GIRL SO I CAN TRY TO MOVE ON, SHE CALLS ME EVERY DAY AND WE HAVE LONG CONVERSATIONS, NOW IM STARTING TO LIKE THIS NEW GIRL... THIS NEW GIRL IS PRETTY GOOD TOO.

You have a girl that calls YOU every day. She cant get enough of you, and you dig her, AND YOU WANNA RISK IT WITH AN EX THAT HAS PLAYED YOU? Be serious dude, you got some good stuff going for you. Put the EX in the past because you can rest assure that she will do the same with you at one point or another. She doesn't appreciate you for what your worth and no girl who does that is worth ANY man's time. Good luck with the new girl, give her a chance. Dating is a numbers game, you could go through 99 women before you meet the one that will be "the one". Keep that in mind. Be safe.