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Day 12 of NC, a turn for the worse


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Not feeling good right now.

 

Yesterday was not so bad, probably the second day I managed a smile, there is a couple of things I've always been interested in doing, I have been researching them on the web and started to look forward to the future a little.

 

Anyway, today, I log into my facebook and discover she's either deleted all of the photos of us from her profile or removed my tags.

 

It feels no different than if she'd taken down all the pictures of us from the walls in her flat and destroyed them.

 

It hurts so much knowing that.

 

I cut all ties with her because being near her/talking to her/seeing her was just too painful while she was with the guy she left me for.

 

But I didn't tell her I was cutting contact with her, I just did it. Deleted her from FB, posted the last of her things through her door and havn't spoken since.

 

I suspect that having been abandoned by me she feels obliged to make sure that things work between her and him. She knows she made her bed when she chose to leave me for him and now she has to lie in it.

 

I feel that since walking away from her she may actually be developing some sort of mental block, or even hatred towards me in order to justify her actions. Also that I may have resulted in pushing them even closer together.

 

The thing I find most difficult to understand is how someone can move on so quickly after being with and seeing someone practically everyday for over 4 and a half years.

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Sigh... I really feel your hurt my friend... Big hugs, man, big hugs. Get your chums to give you lots of hugs, it helps, we don't do enough of this with our friends.

 

Unfortunately you may not find the answers which you seek if you haven't learned to let her go... I know it's hard, but I've managed that and it feels great to have the closure.

 

They can leave us that swiftly because of a mental wall that they've managed to erect by amputating us out of their lives, and to which they've justified their reasons with pathological belief that we were in the wrong. Kinda like a pathological liar believing in their own lies... it's like that.

 

You were doing good, buddy, things have to get worse for them to get any better... Keep going through this hell and one day you WILL reach the end and emerge as a new man better equipped to deal with future relationships and all!!

 

Sending you lots of positive vibes, my friend...

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Sorry you are a having a rough day! Good for you for deleting her from Facebook, it seems to bother most people as much as contacting their ex. I hope that tomorrow will be better for you. I know for me I have to just take it one day at a time, you will have good days and bad days.

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