How do I get over this?

[shelly242004]

I'm in a relationship with someone that I love more than anything- our relationship is truly a blessing...I was in a VERY bad and unhealthy relationship before we got together. This is the first relationship since that one. The problem is that I'm JEALOUS...I trust her, but when she mentions people from work or from school more than a few times my mind goes ....I know that it's nothing and it makes me upset that I even think that way..It's baggage from the past.

My ex cheated on me so it makes me soo cautious..the person she cheated with was supposed to be a friend,...but that was a coverup to get closer to my ex. The X and I broke up more than once-the last time was on New Years of last year...instead of kissing me Happy New Year she was on the phone with my *friend* making plans for the weekend....needless to say it was OVER then...

Well that whole situation has caused me to lose sooo much self confidence- my ex came back crying saying how that was the biggest mistake she ever made since *the other was nothing like me..blah** but now everything makes me worry....when she's on the internet, when she gets messages on her cell, when she's late from work----all stupid things, because I kNOW she's faithful. We talked about it lastnight and she said there is no one better than me.she loves me.. and I should have confidence. I know that...and this jealousy could ruin us.....PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE ON HOW TO STOP THIS!!!

[MrDraw]

Hi Shelly242004,

Jealousy is nothing to be worried about. Everyone is jealous every once in a while. In your case it's obvious that your jealous at your girlfriend.

You've been thru some things together, she cheated on you!!

If your grilfriend cheated on you, you were hurt in the proces. That makes you think a whole lot different about her.

This generates feelings that would normaly be less intens or not there at all. But now they are there and you'll just have to find your way with them.

There is no way for me to tell you what to do, every person handles it very different.

But one thing I can say. Don't put those feelings aside, just talk about it with your girlfriend everytime you feel like it.

When you say to here that you love her and really trust her, mean it!! Don't say that because you feel the need to do so, to keep her happy. You're in this relationship together and so you'll have to work it out together too.

Eventually you will find your way with your feelings and if the two of you are ment for eachother and love eachother as much as you say you do, everything will work.

 

I Wish You Well

MrDraw

[QTpie87]

im going to tell you just to talk to them about it and see how things go. have they done anything (not your ex, but this other person) to make you not think you can trust them?

[humanoidcontent]

Hi, you've gotta trust her, and DO sit down with her and talk to her about these feelings when you get them- she sounds like she understands, which makes it a good relationship and I think she'll help you through!

[shelly242004]

there is no resond not to trust her...that's the problem..she's very trustworthy. Thats the problem I know my worries are unwarranted to thats why i know i need to get rid of those thoughts...thanks for the responses.