Her (The ex) attitude is changing...

[Nearwater]

I am posting this under getting back together as I am an eternal optimist.

 

Recent readers and post researchers will find that my ugly getting dumped scenario over 4 months left me flat. I bounced Lc nc lc ect as my lame impulses let me. Early on I wrote the lovely heartfelt declarations, followed by some emails about the danger of rebounds and what the heck are you doing with you life ect.

 

This was met with anger, "I will not ever read your emails" "Please let me go..."

 

Then a month went bye and I wrote of a family loss, got back a brief but kind note. Then a week later I sent and amazing poem that seemed to worry her, kind of cold reply with a worry I was headed accross the country to the same town.

 

Then a picture of a pet looking really good with no text, replied with a brief but very positive comment...

 

She is not beating down my door but it is a long way from her statement about never ever and so on... No mention of why are you in contact?

 

"I said no more"- Like now she expects to hear from me, her last two posed questions, what does this poem mean? where are you going this winter?

 

softening? rebound dude not so sexy, grass turning brown?

[pacodemil]

Maybe just trying to be friends. Don't read into it to much and don't rely on the fact that you will get back together. Live your life and if it is meant to be then it will. Have as much fun in your life as you can no matter who you are having the fun with.

[Nearwater]

Yeah, no doubt, but it is certainly better than just the contact from 2 weeks ago, never ever and so on. Really when I think about it that is a huge reversal from everything that had been said in months.

[pacodemil]

And that is good but I hate to see you counting on it happening and having it blow up in your face. Take it slow and enjoy it for what it is worth. If it is meant to be then it will happen but in the mean time you have the rest of your life to live

[littlestar]

might just be softening up a bit.

[PiscesIscariot]

I am also an eternal optimist.

 

Me and the ex of six months split almost two months ago because she's going to uni an hour and a half away from our hometown, it just wasn't possible you know, so we broke up still very much in love and liking each other. It was a hard time for the both of us but we are still friends which i can't argue with. We have both spoken on numerous occasions about the possibility of gettin back together afterwards, it is still a possibility, we still keep in contact, and we have both said that we miss each other, she moved away to uni on sunday there, on her way up I got a text that went something like "I'm excited Andrew but I miss your face come visit me soon kk xxxxx"

 

I'm more of an optimist than her but it could still work and what I'm doing is just getting on with things the now. We both still talk but I don't tell her how I feel about her all the time, I don't recite poems to her, I talk to her like a friend because if I want a chance for the future, telling her these things no matter if she feels them for me aswell will scare her off. Tellin her these things will make her feel choked and restricted by you, she'll feel bad about going with other guys in case it gets back to you and even though this may make you seem jealous is it what you want?

 

There's plenty of other women out there and I'm sure you've heard this sooooo much, just like me, it probably grates on you but thats the thing there hasn't been a truer statement. Think of these other women like you're friends, not one of you're friends is the same, yet you like them all, they all have their own qualities and likes and personality and you get on with them all, so there will be other women. I'm not saying don't be optimistic for it, because it can happen again. Hell my parents are the perfect example, they went to the same high school, split up because of uni and college and they met up again by chance when they were twenty six at a friends birthday. They started dating not too long afterwards and theyve now been married for twenty one years.

 

Not saying that will happen, it's just it has and can again and thats where I'm taking my optimism from.

 

I know it's hard to get over someone who means so much to you and I wasn't getting on at you back there. I done the same thing, for a while afterwards, I told her a few times, how much I missed her, how much she meant to me and she got angry. I eventually stopped doing this and we are good friends now, if i need someone to talk to about it, I talk to my parents, my brother or my friends, although pick the friends you talk to wisely about it, they may blabber to her thinking it will do the whole thing good, which it won't. So there's always hope, but dont stop yourself enjoying life for the moment, becuase if it doesnt happen then it'll all have been for nothing. If it does happen then at least you know you enjoyed life back then and kept up hope for the future.

 

One last thing, don't let this optimism destroy a perfect future relationship. you don't want to drive a women away or throw away a really good relationship if the opportunity to get back together arises. Just enjoy life and you'll see what the future holds

[Nearwater]

I am trying to enjoy life, it still seems there is a pall on the fun things I do as they were so shared together with my ex. Reflecting makes me really appreciate how good we had it. Maybe time is showing her that too.

[PiscesIscariot]

Yeah, i know what you mean. It can be quite dire at times thinkin I done this with the ex. Like when I'm playing a gig with the band, I look out to the crowd and don't see her face like I had done for six months, seeing her looking proud of me up on stage playing and singing away. Or going out the town for a few drinks on a wee date, I miss all of those times, but just force myself not too think of it, not that I do when I'm having a few drinks or when I'm at a club.

 

Yeah, I've reflected alot aswell over the past few months, it makes me happy that I've shared all those memories and taking all those emotions and channeling them into the things I like doing like playing my guitar and singing and gigging has made me a better, stronger person. When I don't channel all these emotions, I usually get pretty depressed for a wee while. So I try not too think of them as much now.

 

I only talk or think about her now when people ask me about her. To whch I tell them she was a fantastic lassie who emant the world to me.

 

Reading my post there, I hope it didnt sound like I was getting on at you, i really didnt mean it like that, I sympathise with you through and through