help!! 20 and still a virgin

[blinkingbear]

It seems that all of my mates have lost their virginity by now, and I'm the only one left. Some have progressed to serious relationships that look like leading to marriage. I'm starting to feel a bit left behind, and its been really bothering, particularly since I went to Uni. Apparently universities are full of loose women just waiting to be jumped on, but that hasn't been the case with me....perhaps I'm just going to the wrong places!! I've started seeing this girl at work who is way more experienced than me, and I don't know how to broach the subject of sex with her. I don't want her to feel like I just want to get laid quick (I do, but it isn't the only reason I like her, she's a really great person). Any advice on how to solve this little dilemma would be really appreciated

 

Thanks.

[QTpie87]

please don't feel so bad. just think of it as saving yourself for the person of your dreams. well you know what i mean. how bad would you feel if you shared that with someone and then they left you. i would want to make sure they wouldn't leave me. there was the perfect guy in my life for the longest time, we both thought we would always be together and i gave that to him, well now he is gone. he left me for a freaking hoB#@! so just be happy with yourself and consider it a gift.

if you would like to talk then pm me-k- love Qtpie87

[lil_mamarains13]

How long have you two dated? Are you to the stage where you are saying I love you to each other? Do you have make out sessions and things? If you do go with the flow and see where it winds up. If she puts her hands under your shirt and takes it off of you looks like you may be getting close. You will be nervous and shaking, but the best time to talk about sex, in my opinion, is before, during, and right after. Well good luck, and I hope I helped.

[akatoro]

Hey there.

 

I wouldn't worry if I were you..

I know you want to get rid of it quickly, I did too. But then all of a sudden a beautiful gal fell into my lap and I am glad I gave it with her instead of some drunk high-bie at a party somewhere..

 

Your first is going to mean a lot to that special lady you decide to give it to. This is my honest opinion and not something I'm just saying to comfort you.. Don't rush things with this girl you're seeing now, wait because when the right time comes, it'll be much better than having stressed it away. Make it memorable, Boyah

 

Good luck to you and don't hesitate to ask me if I've been unclear or if you feel I'm rambling and ought to shut up

[macdomat]

Try being a 24 yr old virgin, like me. The 22nd year is the hardest.

 

Naw, naw. Look, don't focus on getting laid. Keep with the GF, and progress the relationship. If you simply, absolutely cannot wait, then take a walk down "that street" (believe me, there's at least one in every city) - and bring lots of cash.

 

I kid! I kid! No, please, please, don't censor me! Awwwww, man!!!!!

[Music is the key]

Iam a virgin to.

I've never even had a girlfriend.

If you really like this girl,then progress with her.Take her out,eventualy kiss her etc etc.

If you're desperate to loose it to any girl then it depends on two things.A are you a decent looking lad?And B how do you feel about yourself...Lots od self esteem and confidence?If so,then just go to a club chat a load of birds up and at least 1 at the end of the night will wanna do something with you.

[creid]

I found this thought one day on the computer. I printed it out to read it from time to time. "You could be married tomorrow if you lowered your standards far enough. Don't. Better to wait for the real thing than to waste your time on something that won't last." That applies to having sex, anyone can have sex with anyone if they lower your standards. Don't let you friends be the influence of your choices, find the right one and hopefully end the end you will marry that person. Good Luck!

 

Don't just do it to "do it"

[Mango88]

Hey Blinkingbear,

 

Don't feel left behind and try not to focus too much on that aspect of your relationship. Sex is the ultimate step in a relationship and there's never a need to rush things. You may think 20's a bit old to still be a virgin, but you'd be surprised at how many virgins out there are older than you are (I'm 23 and a virgin by choice).

 

As some people have already written, make it memorable. Make sure you're with the right person and are doing it for the right reasons. Don't do it for the sake of doing it or to stop being left behind. Sex can complicate relationships and, should relationships prior to marriage not last, it can really make the breakup that much harder. Sex is a celebration of love, not a catch-up-with-everyone-else game. Just make sure you and whomever you're with are ready and willing to take that step.

 

Best wishes,

 

Mango

[routerx]

Congrats! You should be PROUD!

 

Save your virginity for your first LOVER. Don't just do it to do it.

 

I lost my virginity at 19. I regretted the way I did it. A loose girl liked me and threw her body on me... we drank a little and had sex. It was stupid.

 

So.. I lost that great moment forever. I never felt that sex was "special" after that. I lost that forever.

 

Sex is SPECIAL. just because others don't treat it that way, doesn't mean you should.

 

Lose your virginity to a lover.

[JSHRN]

There is a lot of pressure to lose your virginity. Having sex with someone because you want to lose your virginity or because "everyone is doing it", is something you may not feel so good about later.

 

You may feel a lot of anxiety especially the first time you 'go all the way'. You may feel embarrassed about how you look without your clothes on, or worried about your privacy being disturbed. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication is the key. Relax. You're partner is probably nervous too!

 

What is important is that you feel good about yourself and what you are doing, and that you keep yourself safe. Think about physical risks such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. But also think about the

emotional risk such as the regret you may feel afterwards.

 

There is no absolute right age to start having sex. What matters is whether it is the right time for you.

 

It's very important not to feel pressurised into having sex when you don't really want to. Just because your friends say they are 'doing it' doesn't mean they are. There are lots of reasons why people don't want to have sex. Some people have strong moral or religious beliefs. Others just want to wait. It's important for you to decide what's right for you.

[blinkingbear]

I'd just like to say thanks to everyone who's replied. It's been a great help! Anyway last night I went out and got really drunk on cider and texted Charlie (girl from work) and said everything bar proposing marriage. I'm now extremely embarrassed and not sure if she loves me or hates me now. I haven't got the courage yet to phone her and find out.

[r6]

dont worry when it happens you suck so bad its all good, but then the fun starts and when you start having sex all the time dam its ssooooo good,

 

honestly youll figure it out man

[Blayzed4Life]

I agree that saving yourself for the right girl/guy is a good thing, but also you get accused of alot of things, like being gay for one.

 

I am 19 and still a virgin main reason for this though is because I dont feel I am ready for a relationship and I respect women too much to just have a one night stand. So I hope to first get my self on my feet before I try and support a girlfriend/wife.