The Problem Continues....arousal, mostly.

[Eidan]

Me again. I posted a couple of weeks ago about a problem I had- I just couldnt get an erectionwhile I was fooling around with my girlfriend, and yet I've never had a problem on my own.

 

S4il offered me some advice, and a bit of it worked. Last night, she was over, and of course thiings progressed...at first I was just cuddling with her and already at full mast, so I thought all was well. When we actually got our clothes off, it just faded. I had a hunch that it was something to do with actual contact, shifted a little, and pressed against her differently, and it came back. Got the condom on, and all was well. I still wish it was as easy to get as when I'm in school, at home, in the car.... *sigh*

 

When we actually got to the point og intercourse, I simply couldnt get into her. Partially because she's still pretty inexperienced, and...well, to put it bluntly, she's tight as hell. And the more I tried, the more my erection faded until I had nothing.

 

Now, she claims it doesnt bother her (mostly because of what I can do with my hands..) but I'd still like to resolve it somehow. The real problem here is- it takes to long to get an erection, and it fades too quickly. Anyone have any thoughts?

[routerx]

This is an opinion based on my experience. Take it or leave it, but you may want to read it and think about it.

 

Are you sure you want to have sex with her? This happened to me a few times when I was 17. As you know, 17 year old can get a boner from the wind.

 

There have been times in my life where I have been with beautiful women in my teens and 20's and could not get hard. I figured out what the problem was... it was because deep down inside I did not want to have intercourse with them... because deep down inside I knew I was not in a committed relationship.

 

God forbid we ever admit as men that we don't want to have sex with a beautiful woman. For me my body wanted to have sex, but my mind said it was not a smart move to have sex so casually. Thus, a few embarrassing situations.

[Eidan]

Thanks for the input, but I dont think that that is the case. I love her more than anything, and there's no one I'd rather be with. I think it's something we're doing....or not doing as the case may be.

[ForAnother]

hey don't worry about the "getting in" portion. The matter is that you can't get hard. hmm well when I am with my girlfriend, i can get an erection just by sitting at the dinner table and thinking about sex when I am looking at her. When she kisses me on the lips I can get an erection. It just depends on the way she kisses me, the way her body language responds to me. She knows how to move up to me to make me horny whenever she wants me to. Maybe your just not interested in it yet. You just don't have the chemical juices going through your brain to make you interested.

 

You seem to be nervous. you say its easy to get at school or whatever? Well try doing it in public, like in the car... or... in a park where no one goes... try in the shower. Hell if you think its safe, do it in between classes (whoa that gets me off in like 2 seconds). Find a situation where you are just like jesus I want her now, hard and fast. Take the initiative, be aggressive.. Role play. Gotta do it sometimes. If you get her horny enough, then it will be easier to get inside her.... first time will hurt her like CRAZY. Be prepared.

 

For Another

[Ash]

One thing I can suggest. When it starts to go soft, ignore it for a while and do something else with her. Touch her, and have her touch you in other places. Make sure the condom isn't too tight. That can restrict the blood flow and cause an issue. Also, make sure you relax your muscles down there. With adrenaline flowing through your system, you can tense up quite a bit. If your PC muscles get tensed, that will disturb the blood flow into the penis, and that will result in loss of erection. Although it's tricky to hold those muscles tensed on purpose (most guys can't without practise), they can tense up involuntarily. If you find your legs in general are all tight from being nervous or excited, you'll have to drop your tension level down a notch. Try taking deep breathes in that case, and clear your mind of stresses. Relax and enjoy the moment.

 

Another thing you can try as opposed to penetration is just rubbing up and down on the outside. You'll still have genital to genital contact, she'll love it, and the action is very similar. Try that and see how it works out. You can still use all the same positions for this. Usually this is part of foreplay for lots of couples anyway.

[DDH]

Aight, no-BS answer from a guy who was in a similar situation.

 

You said she was tight. Ok, I know all us guys love the tight pussies and whatnot, but practically speaking it doesn't work too well if she's too tight, to the point where entry is next to impossible. Work on her with fingers and tongue, widening it up if that's the case. Eventually it will widen enough so entry is easier. The quicker you get in the less likely you'll lose it in my experience.

 

If that's not the problem, then one thing I've noticed is that position matters. In rear entry position there's no chance I lose it cause everything feels so good. However, when she's on top if I don't get in there quick I lose it very fast. And of all ironies of course, she loves the position to death. Physically there's a good explanation why it's tough: blood trying to pump in against gravity. So what I've done is modified it ever so slightly: instead of what you see in pornos usually, I raise my butt off the bed and have her lean over on top of me more. That way there's less of a vertical component to it and the thrust is more like a 45 degree angle, making it much easier for me to stay hard.

 

So my advice is pretty simple; tinker around with different positions and see what happens. You know how most girls can only come in certain positions? I think guys are somewhat like that in that our "buddies" like certain ways better than others.