After 3 years of not talking

[sweetooth]

Okay I will try to keep this as short as possible. I have been living in the US for the past 4 years and I've visited Canada once a year, that's where I grew up. I still have friends and family still there. Anyway, I went back last month for a week. 3 weeks prior, my ex (high school sweetheart/first love) contacted me on facebook after 3 years of not talking. I thought he wanted closure but I was wrong. He had asked me why I left him. To make things more complicated, I broke up with him end of highschool, 3 weeks before he got in a serious car accident, leaving him in a coma for 2 months. So I thought I'd owe it to him to him him an explanation, and thought it'd be better to do in person. We arranged a meeting when I was in Canada.

 

Well we get together, have fun, but also a lot of tears, pain, tension, etc. It felt fine when he was holding me and cuddling me, but this whole time he would also pressure me to pretty much get back together with him. I think because of this pressure and shock, I kind of went with it, so I'd say the "I love yous" etc, talks about the future, marriage, kids....

 

Now I'm back in the US and back into the swing of things. I do have a life here myself. I can't exactly say he's backed off much because the other day he texts me what I'm up to, etc...I told him I was out with friends..and he's like male friends? That pissed me off. He later apologized after I said something.

 

Well anyway, long story short I guess, I'm having a hard time because scars that were healed were torn apart. I don't know why I felt I needed to write this, maybe to get perspective. Originally I told him I could only offer him friendship and build from there...and that he'd "wait for me until I was ready". I feel that's unhealthy and I think I really need to tell him he needs to move on......but I'm having a hard time to. I don't want to string him along but this is hard......

 

Thanks for listening.

[redhearts]

So you don't want to be with a guy whos head over heels for you and you don't know how to tell him? The sooner the better.

[sweetooth]

Lol well I think I'm in denial as to what I have to do. I don't pity him or anything like that, I do care about him.... I think it's just harder to let him down because he was my first love :S And yes you are right, the sooner the better.