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need help with fiance


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I am with an awesome guy--I love him very much. But I am not quite satisfied with my sex life and need a little more spice. We are engaged---and I feel NOW should be when things are super exciting--and yet he doesn't seem to have the same appetite I do. I would like some dirty talk--some rough stuff (nothing wild) --some dress up etc...he is just into straight sex with very little words or change......he gets super sensitive about it and I am getting more and more impatient and depressed about it.

He's old enough and has been married and divorced--so we are not talking about a kid here. Since his ex cheated on him I do not want to give him the idea that I will stray unless he complies....but at the same time I don't want to live out my life with everything suppressed.

I have never had this problem before and it's starting to worry me....any thoughts/?

The frequency isn't the issue--he is basically ok with having sex as often as I would like. It's just that he is pretty conventional...me? well--I love role play---romantic sex---dirty talk--rough sex---and alot more--there are things I have never done and would love to try---but--if he is't receptive to just saying certain things how does one move on?

Also--he says he'll do certain things and then he doesn't--I wait months then get annoyed at him because of all the built up expectations.

I usually love to dress up and do things--but if someone doesn't seem excited it takes the wind out of your sails and you don't have to ambition to do anything after a while.

I may sound very unhappy but I'm really not--I mean I DO love him---and I AM satisfied sometimes. But I want this relationship to bring happiness for years to come--and be fulfilling in every way--not perfect--just fulfilling.

for anyone who will suggest watching porn: I can't watch porn with a man who I can't talk dirty to---it's become too uncomfortable now

also when I ask him what HIS fantasies are he says...he has none....is this even remotely possible???


I love this man and want to stay with him,


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How long have you known/dated him?


From your post, there does seem a pretty significant gap between you two in the way you two experience sex.


Although sex certainly isn't everything in marriage, it can be a one major source of conflict.


Even while everything else is good, if there is a big incompatibility in sex I would be worried. This is not to say you should break this up over sex, but there needs to be some sort of compromise, otherwise you will continue to feel frustrated and unhappy...


Do you think given more time living with you he can/will eventually come around to doing what you would like? I mean more time meaning after years of living together...I don't expect people to change overnight, but after living with someone for years, people do tend to assimilate...

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Him not having any fantasies is impossible. I'll guarantee he has some but he's almost certainly too scared to tell you incase it scares you off.


Ever tried Anal? - Want to? - I'll bet he's game but wouldn't tell you incase you run a mile. If you're game for it ask him if he is.


Go buy some handcuffs and handcuff him to the bed too. Thats one way of getting him into a few role playing things and he'll have no choice but to take part lol - especially if you tease him with a little suck and then withdraw (Note this is also classed as cruelty by many of us men who just want to blow as fast as possible in your mouth!)


On top of that talk to him. Tell him you have fantasies and you're sure he has too. Ask him what he wants to try and tell him what you want to try.

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