Closure?

[saturnreturn]

My ex showed up at my apartment today. We had not spoken in over two months. We were together for almost four years and it was very serious (I am 30 he is 31). The break up was in the works for a while (not the first time) but was also quite sudden. We just stopped talking one day and I felt extremely betrayed and cut out of his life. I wrote him a letter and sent it a few weeks ago (not a nasty letter at all, just a letter expressing how I felt and explaining to him that I really needed to be able to say goodbye).

 

Today he phoned me and told me he was outside my place. I let him up (obviously, I am still quite in love with this man) and we talked for over two hours. I got a lot of stuff off my chest, which is good. At one point in the conversation I asked him what the ground rules were now... I told him I was not at a point where I could envision being friends with him. He basically skirted the issue. He doesn't know what he wants... Neither do I... On the the one hand I know we broke up for several good reasons. On the other hand I love him so much and miss him so much and it felt so good to be with him again.

 

What do I do if he contacts me again?

[fixyou_]

I'm not really sure...Why did you guys break up?

You two seem to have somewhat of a decent plan to talk to each other and he obviously still has feelings for you showing up like that.

[saturnreturn]

I'm not really sure...Why did you guys break up?

You two seem to have somewhat of a decent plan to talk to each other and he obviously still has feelings for you showing up like that.

 

Here's my story and why we broke up:

 

"My boyfriend and I were together almost 4 years. During that time we lived abroad together, travelled, came home, found a place together and lived together again, broke up (he left), got back together and spent the last 9 months of our relationship together but not living together. It was a very intense relationship--lots of ups and downs. Many wonderful moments (we regularly talked about kids, the future, etc.) but also alot of fighting. Cohabitation was always tough for us so obviously not living together took a load off... I wanted him to move back in and he did not."

 

Obviously there were other reasons... but basically he did not want to commit. He's a complicated person and even though the connection between us has always been very strong we've always been up and down. I'm pretty sure none of this has changed in the past 3 months... but I also know he will most probably contact me again... The ball is in his court. Should we go back to NC?