yankeefan74 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 dude, lesson learned-I had to learn it the hard way myself...Never go fishing from the company pier... lol...well, she was fishing. I just took the bait. haha. She chased me for four months before we went out, and even that was just supposed to be "happy hour" with others. But it turned out, we were the only two that showed up. Had a great time. We were falling in love right about this time last year... An out of town friend who was talking to me one day about all this sent me an article from somewhere that said this was one of the best areas in the country to be single and date. She figured it would help cheer me up. But the article had a picture of a particular area that happens to be the most active for nightlife around here...and in the picture was the exact spot my ex and i met for our first date...where we had a couple of drinks outside and talked each other's ear off. I had to laugh. What were the odds she'd find an article with THAT picture...lol Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Does anyone believe in karma? Natural process I guess that is true. Or what goes around comes around. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 yeah that's tough. Sorry you are going through this. You sound like a decent guy and trust me, this will pass and there will be so many more adventures for you. Just keep your chin up. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I really don't believe in Karma. To me it's more that if you are a certain way, and treat people a certain way, either good or bad, you are likely to have it reciprocated-just human nature, psychology, etc. To me, that's Karma. Link to comment
jammer180 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I'm going through the same exact thing. We broke up becuase he was worried that we didn't get our honeymoon stage (complicated year on and off relationshi) and he feared he'd never be able to say i love you because you are supposed to do that in the honeymoon stage he thinks. so he wanted time. then he wanted more time, and i finally just said i can't keep giving you time because i know better than to wait, either you want to be in it and try or you don't. he still said he wanted time so i said then i guess we are broken up. he still says he's thinking about it, but i'm pretty sure he already made up his mind that he wants to find someone and have that honeymoon stage. it's like he just didn't want to have to build something solid, something that could've been better than his past two relationships where he fell in love to fast and they ended up fighting and having to work at things all the time. we never faught, i gave him lots of space. we had a good beginning to a strong relationship, and he threw it all away.. for what? the chance to have a honeymoon phase with someone else? makes me incredibly sad becuase it means he will be dating in no time, while im sitting here more depressed than ive ever been in my life becuase i actually DO love him, and i TOLD him that, and even apologized for some mean words i said while breaking up, and told him i could wait a week or two becuase i obviously can't start dating right away... now i feel like he has all the power and thinks im dependent, so i don't think he's thinking about us at all... im sorry to hear others are going through the same thing becuase it hurts so terribly much some days i honestly dont know how i will make it through the day. i wish i had just said you want more time? fine.. see you. and walked out the door. at least then id have my dignity.. now i have nothing Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 jammer180.....He sounds very immature. Yes you do have your dignity. We all wish we could have done things differently. If he truly loves you he would not be playing games. Honestly hun You need to have your love recprocated. Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 now i have nothing You have your health, your intelligence, the people around you, and you have your heart -- a heart that is broken now, but will mend...and will be able to love someone else that will be able to more fully appreciate all that you will do for him. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Life is circular, how big that circle is, is anybody's guess. But the important thing is to hold on to yourself and realize that you matter. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Hey Sword! Haven't seen you in a while! Life good? Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I really don't believe in Karma. To me it's more that if you are a certain way, and treat people a certain way, either good or bad, you are likely to have it reciprocated-just human nature, psychology, etc. To me, that's Karma. Yes, I agree. I don't understand it all. But I have seen time and time again, that a person can not run away from themselves. What they choose and do, they get the fruits of that sooner or later. Sometimes taking your hands off the steering wheel and just letting that all unfold on its own turns out a lot better than trying to exact your own sense of "justice". Had to learn this the hard way! Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 I wish I could Fast forward my life a year or so......... Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Hey Sword! Haven't seen you in a while! Life good? Life's been really good. Took a couple of lumps here and there but all in good fun How about yourself? And the boys? Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I wish I could Fast forward my life a year or so......... You feel like that now, like I did but I would never in a million years trade in what I learned and went through that year after my breakup. Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Did You end up reconciling or just completely moved on??? I am happy for you that You found peace in all of this. This is my 3rd break up with same person, seems like a nightmare that won't stop. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 well there you go. That's your clue to discover the truth, that love shouldn't be this hard. Lord you have such a beautiful discovery coming... Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 I hope so......I do. Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Good Sword-thanks for asking-and remembering the boys! High School and Middle School, great grades, good respectful young men. Sorry istillluvu06, not trying to steal the thread, but this guy is the best-you will get incredible advice from him, and just trying to say good to see you again! And Sword, the bumps and bruises I will suspect from the training still, and not the romantic life? Link to comment
auburnslp Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 And yes, you will. Trust me. It feels like the most hopeless time. But Lord it gets so much better! And then one day you find the guy that completely thrills you and you look back and say "Thank God that relationship ended or I would have never met ..." Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Problem is I thought I already met him 5 years ago. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Did You end up reconciling or just completely moved on??? I am happy for you that You found peace in all of this. This is my 3rd break up with same person, seems like a nightmare that won't stop. Reconciling... She called me a couple of times a couple of months ago and I didn't even recognize her number. She might have tried but I never gave her the chance to talk about it. I was too busy working on something and said I had to go. I have found more than peace and that is the truth. It took me a trip to a horrible part of the planet and some good hard thinking to figure things out. I hope no other person has to do what I did to understand. But what I came away with is this: "It's always been us." The simplest truth boiled from my heartache and pain. Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 I do hope I can feel like this too. What do you mean by "It's always been us"? Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Good Sword-thanks for asking-and remembering the boys! High School and Middle School, great grades, good respectful young men. Sorry istillluvu06, not trying to steal the thread, but this guy is the best-you will get incredible advice from him, and just trying to say good to see you again! And Sword, the bumps and bruises I will suspect from the training still, and not the romantic life? Bumps and bruises from life in general High school and middle school! Their lives are just beginning, I envy them. Everything tastes so new and fresh. To go back in time... You're making me blush auburnslp is no slouch either. When you get the chance read our past posts they're loaded with some doozy of experiences from our past heartaches. But we both got through it, as you will too. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I do hope I can feel like this too. What do you mean by "It's always been us"? For each and every person that's been through (and will go through) this forum the one constant is ourselves or "us." We determine the outcome and no one else. The EX can come back or not, we move on, we don't or thereof any combination of results we allow the end consequences. Right now you feel the pain of separation, how you choose to deal or learn from it is up to you. I don't know your full story (the one between the mind and heart of your EX, only both of you know that) but the immutable constant is you, the centre of YOUR universe. No doubt, you will pass through Hell and high water to get to the other side of your emotions and again it is you that will go through all this. Not him or me or auburnslp. Just you. We can affect your journey but regardless you will move forward like a river. Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted August 3, 2008 Author Share Posted August 3, 2008 Thank you Wandering Sword. Right now I am very lost. Need to find my way again. I already know I could never be with the ex again due to some things he did at end, so I am not looking for reconciliation this time around. I basically need to find my center again. I lost it throughout this relationship, I lost me. Thank you. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.