Eh?!

[Lovestragedies]

Here's the deal, if you don't mind reading what's about to ensue...

 

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, partly due to pressuring from my mother as I am 16. She doesn't want the relationship to be serious, so on and so forth. I broke up with him because he is 19, and I'm afraid that somewhere in the next 6 years of finishing high school and college I'm going to meet someone who I might want to date and I don't think it's fair to my ex knowing this might happen. He's already gone out and seen what the world has to offer, so he's not worried he'll find someone else to be with.

 

I'm also worried because he's the only boyfriend I've ever truly had, and that can put a damper on things as I get older and might want to "party," which I truly doubt will happen as it takes me months before I decide whether or not I want to date someone.. But I myself haven't "seen what the world has to offer."

 

As it stands, I'm second guessing my choice because I am in love with him and have every desire to be with him. I did what I did because I felt I had to. My mother hasn't been pleased with it from the start and believes I'll do something foolish, like get married prematurely or some such thing. But I'm now beginning to think that I should make my own decision on the matter. I just don't know what that should be.

 

I feel silly for rocking back and forth, not sure whether my doubts are because I made the wrong decision or I'm being led by feelings rather than reason. However, reason tends to lead toward returning to him, but I'm still not terribly sure..

 

A little advice, however small, would be so terribly appreciated.

[giggle3474]

I wouldn't really let what your mom thinks influence your decision. You are at the age where you need to make these decisions for yourself. Rejoice in your accomplishments and learn from your mistakes. I think you are 100% correct that as you develop more as a young adult, having a long term commitment is not going to mesh well with that. You will need to get out and experience things, places and people or else you may have regrets at a later stage and that will just turn into resentment towards your b/f. And at 19, he should be out doing the same thing. He hasn't had a chance to do all that stuff because he's been with you for the past 4 years.

 

I have no doubt that you love him but I think deep inside you know you have to break up with him and find your own path in life. That doesn't mean that you won't end up back with him in the future. I think that your hesitation or what is drawing you to him is just your fear of the unknown and the fact that you feel comfortable with him. Find a way to break it to him firmly but gently. And at the same time you will be making your mom happy, but that's just an added bonus.

 

Good luck!

[Lovestragedies]

Thank you. I think you're right on everything.. however one thing I forgot to mention was the fact that he left me during our relationship TO do all that stuff. And he came back because he realized he was just delaying the inevitable of being with me as he'd always wanted. The thing is it's a long-distance relationship, so that tends to make it far more complicated..

 

My hesitation is probably just what you're saying it is. I think it's just that there's so much encompassing it, like him being in the military, that tends to cloud things. He'll get deployed in 3 years, and that's another cause for my hesitation.

 

Regardless, thank you for your help. I'll consider that without a doubt.