Your opinion....

[rgm1266]

My g/f (or whatever you want to call her) have been having some problems. Nothing like cheating or anything like that, but just some trust issues and what I feel are respect issues. So we took a break for the last 2 weeks. During those 2 weeks we talked and we saw eachother the last couple of days. Just hung out and stuff like that. We both had a great time!!

 

Today we had a serious talk and I put it all on the line. She was explaining to me that she needs to be able to trust me and she doesn't. She didn't say trust like cheating or anything like that. But she feels like she needs to know that I'll be there. I've never shown her anything but respect, trustingworthy, love, and several other things. Now I'm not going to say that we haven't had some arguments. But who doesn't right? They have never been nasty, calling eachother names or anything like that. Heated we shall say!! She said that she has a hard time trusting me which she admits is mostly in her mind, whether I've done something or not. I told her that she's already lost 1/2 the battle when she thinks that I've already done something wrong.

 

We both decided to give it a chance again to see how it goes. We both said we love eachother. We both want to get married to eachother. But with some of the issues that come up, we need to work on those first before we take the next step. We are going to take it slow.

 

My concern is that she says she doesn't know if she can get over some of the hurt or issues that we have had in our relationship. She says she willing to try and work these things out. How much of an effort is she willing to put into it? I'm the type of guy who is willing to put 110% into a relationship till the end. I can let stuff go and move forward. My question is would a person try to work it out even if they were unsure things would work out or not? How can she (or a person) be willing to work things out for the long haul or just to pass time by? I don't want to put all the time an effort into this when she has already made up in her mind that we are going to fail.

 

Need advice. Take a little more time apart?

 

Thanks

[lmnorthrup]

It sounds like you really care for her. I think that's great that you are willing to give the relationship your all. I would suggest taking her some where nice you can have a private conversation. Then I would tell her how much you care about her and how you are willing to work hard on fixing the trust issue in your relationship. Avoid using the word "you" a lot, blaming her for anything, or the use of negative words. Ask her what she needs from you so that she can trust you. If she say's "I don't know" remind her that in order to fix the problem so you both can be happy and stay together she will need to help too. If she isn't willing to help and just expects you to do all the changing yourself then it's probably not going to work. I hope this piece of advice helped and I wish you the best of luck.