designbuild Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hi. This is my first post but I have been reading the forums for awhile now and Im hoping someone can help with my situation. I have been in a relationship with a woman for over a year now. She is 31 and I am 36. I have not had a serious relationship with ANYONE for a VERY long long time. I spent 6 years and had a baby with the woman I thought I was going to marry. We have a wonderful friendship now and I love my kid to death but I feel like I wasted a lot of time with the wrong woman. I enjoy being on my own, Im not the type that 'needs' a relationship but this girl Im seeing now is wonderful. I have gotten closer and have commited more to her than anyone in a really long time. I know she has my best interests at heart, I trust her with my life, she caters to my ego, she's beautiful, she takes good care of me and makes me feel really good about myself, I can tell her anything, she makes me laugh, she's just a beautiful person. The only drawback is that she can sometimes be clingy. She likes to spend a lot of time with me and not that that is a bad thing but sometimes I want to spend time alone and sometimes I want to go out with my friends and just do my own thing but she takes it personal. Even that isn't a huge issue and it's something I think I can deal with. My thing is she hasn't really been pressuring me to take the next step (marriage, moving in, etc) but she has mentioned it. Im just having doubts and I can't quite pin point what they are about. I just think I should feel a certain way or that there shouldn't be any doubts or any grey area. Logically I know that she is a wonderful girl and I am so lucky to have her and she may very well be the best thing that has ever happened to me.And it's not like I'm sure that she's NOT the one. But this feeling nags at me. Do I stay with her and try to ignore these doubts? I have brought it up to her before so she knows that I've had the thoughts. I don't know if it's because I feel like the grass may be greener on the other side or I may be missing out on something? I don't want to hurt her especially because I don't even know if what I'm feeling is legitimate. Do I need to take a break from her? Break it off completely? The thought of not having her in my life just kills me. I just feel like I need to be sure. Right now, I have mentioned the thought that I might want to take a break to evaluate if I even want to be in a relationship and she is really upset with me. She doesn't want to take a break, she wants to work on it together and if were anything else, I would agree with her. But this is something she can't help me with and I feel like I need time and space to myself. What the hell am I thinking?? Link to comment
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