NoLies_JustLove Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 surprising enough, we are back together. i haden't seen him for three weeks, then one night as i was pulling into my driveway he was driving by on his street bike and stopped. we both realized that he would have never stopped if i wasn't outside he didnt plan to go by my house but he did. so it happened for a reason. we hung out friday and saturday but i havent heard from him in the past three days... he doesn't exactly have a phone, so it kinda makes it hard for us to talk. and i dont really have a number that im able to call him at ...i just kinda have to wait for him to call. the hard part is, i never know when hes just gonna show up at my house because i wanna be home when he comes over, but i cant just sit around doing nothing all day. its just i dont wanna go anywhere because if he just shows up i want to be here, i wish he had a phone that way i could atleast let him know where im going so he doesn't get mad at me, and visa versa. is it normal to not talk for days at a time? Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Are you sure you guys are back together? sounds like you guys just went at it for a couple of days Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Are you sure you guys are back together? sounds like you guys just went at it for a couple of days well yes. were dating again, it was a mutual agreement, we both wanted to be back with each other because we both still really cared about each other. its just with him not having a phone, is it really a big deal that we havent talked in like 3 days? Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well.. maybe he's taking it real slow this time around, but a text or a call here and there wouldn't hurt. Don't draw conclusions yet though, wait it out a while longer Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Well.. maybe he's taking it real slow this time around, but a text or a call here and there wouldn't hurt. Don't draw conclusions yet though, wait it out a while longer true, i mean its not the first time in our relationship that we went a few days without talking. maybe its better that way, so we dont get under each others skin, but your right its up to him to contact me because i have no way to contact him... but everyones telling me not to sit around waiting for his phone call to go out, and he will come around. he cant really expect me to just sit here and wait for him to show up... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 both of you need communication devices. it would help. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think this is a liason where you'll come together when there is a purpose to meet - and you'll have little contact or involvement when both of you aren't wanting contact with the other. I think the no phones, no pagers, no emails, is a great way to go - keeps you out of each other's business and lives until you both want contact and make the effort to have it. You shouldn't sit around waiting for him to want to be with you - he's not sitting around waiting for you to show at his door for sure. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think this is a liason where you'll come together when there is a purpose to meet - and you'll have little contact or involvement when both of you aren't wanting contact with the other. I think the no phones, no pagers, no emails, is a great way to go - keeps you out of each other's business and lives until you both want contact and make the effort to have it. You shouldn't sit around waiting for him to want to be with you - he's not sitting around waiting for you to show at his door for sure. well he dosen't exactly stay in one place, he stays with friends, hes had the option of living with me for the past year so i dont know... and i know he cares, but i dont like not talking to him for days at a time, if he'd atleast call me id be fine. also he deleted my comments off his myspace, what could that mean? im not on his top at all or anything, and im his girlfriend. i just dont know weather to assume hes mad at me or if something else is causing him to act like this... Link to comment
Excalibur Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I think you're reading the whole situation wrong. The guy is a drifter, with plenty of options - and he utilizes whatever option suits him at the moment, without making commitments or obligations. In your mind, you might have been being sexually and emotionally faithful to him, giving him the option of partnership with you - but he's just been coming an going at will, as it suited him, obligated to nothing. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 I think you're reading the whole situation wrong. The guy is a drifter, with plenty of options - and he utilizes whatever option suits him at the moment, without making commitments or obligations. In your mind, you might have been being sexually and emotionally faithful to him, giving him the option of partnership with you - but he's just been coming an going at will, as it suited him, obligated to nothing. well im forced to think negatively because thats what im used to. its not a good thing and i need to stop. but it just bothers me that he just often disappears. we are together, that was stated very clear so its not like it wasn't made official. he couldn't possibly be using me... you cant say the things he said and be using someone. i was also upset with the fact that a friend of mine said he went up to walmart yesterday to pick up girls with him, now this friend is not aware that we are dating, but it just seemed wrong to do in general. he can do that but he has no time to come and see me? maybe im just over reacting & he will come around, hopefully the problems only exist in my head and all is good between us. i just messaged him and played it cool, said whats up, i havent heard from you in awhile. i hope i get a response to that. Link to comment
Haven Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 we both realized that he would have never stopped if i wasn't outside he didnt plan to go by my house but he did. so it happened for a reason. It happened because he was biking around in his free time rather than trying to get in touch with you and be with you. That's the reason. Honestly, from what I've read, it sounds like this guy is using you. If he's going to Wal-Mart to pick up girls, that is NOT okay. He does not see himself in a committed relationship with you. It doesn't matter what he's said. You agree that there are manipulative people out there, right? Well, do you think the victims of their manipulation know about it? Of course not. Manipulators are very good at seeming honest and covering their tracks with believable excuses. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 26, 2008 Author Share Posted July 26, 2008 It happened because he was biking around in his free time rather than trying to get in touch with you and be with you. That's the reason. Honestly, from what I've read, it sounds like this guy is using you. If he's going to Wal-Mart to pick up girls, that is NOT okay. He does not see himself in a committed relationship with you. It doesn't matter what he's said. You agree that there are manipulative people out there, right? Well, do you think the victims of their manipulation know about it? Of course not. Manipulators are very good at seeming honest and covering their tracks with believable excuses. im thinking your right, and i still have not heard from him. although, he may not have been the one picking up girls, or that ould have just been said to make me angry, i still dont see why he would leave me hanging and show no effort of trying to contact me this past week. what you said is true, its just the last thing i want to believe because of my history with this guy. right now we are technically still together because we never broke off the relationship, so how do i deal with it from here... ive tried to play it cool and message him from myspace (which is the only way i can contact him) just said whats up, i havent heard from you in awhile, and he read it but wont respond. he also deleted my comment i left him (which was just a cute icon) chances are he didnt want anyone to see it and deleted it, but it still adds to my frustration. what do you suggest i do now? Link to comment
Haven Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 You could try confronting him in person. Don't get angry or emotional, just talk to him and try to get a straight answer out of him. Tell him you don't want any BS anymore (or something like that). But you might just want to give up on this guy, he sounds like he's not into the relationship and may be trying to avoid you. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 26, 2008 Author Share Posted July 26, 2008 You could try confronting him in person. Don't get angry or emotional, just talk to him and try to get a straight answer out of him. Tell him you don't want any BS anymore (or something like that). But you might just want to give up on this guy, he sounds like he's not into the relationship and may be trying to avoid you. thats what im thinking of doing because i dont seem to be getting a response to any emails, i just have to wait till i run into him i guess. if i try to write him another message, what do you suggest i say? Link to comment
Haven Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 thats what im thinking of doing because i dont seem to be getting a response to any emails, i just have to wait till i run into him i guess. if i try to write him another message, what do you suggest i say? Well, I was suggesting talking to him in person, since he isn't responding to any messages that you're sending him. I would suggest asking him if he still wants to be in a committed relationship - mention that he never calls you or wants to hang out with you, etc. Don't take any excuses. If he doesn't have a good explanation, then he is just not interested in a relationship and is trying to cover his a-- by pretending as if he doesn't know what he's doing. Link to comment
NoLies_JustLove Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Well, I was suggesting talking to him in person, since he isn't responding to any messages that you're sending him. I would suggest asking him if he still wants to be in a committed relationship - mention that he never calls you or wants to hang out with you, etc. Don't take any excuses. If he doesn't have a good explanation, then he is just not interested in a relationship and is trying to cover his a-- by pretending as if he doesn't know what he's doing. ok, well i never see him anywhere, and trust me if i did, i would have said something to him. im just trying no contact with him, until he contacts me. im not going to just assume that we are broken up because really neither one of us said it was over, he just kinda stopped talking to me out of nowhere while we are still "together". i would have asked him in a message why he was acting this way but i didnt because i dont ask questions that i dont wanna know the answer to, and in this case im afraid to hear its over, im stronger without knowing what hes thinking, but i guess im gonna have to face it sooner, or later. Link to comment
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