What's your experience?

[cs90453]

I just had a social gathering over the weekend with some friends and a couple of people approached me to say that my ex is telling everyone that I was the one who cheated and she was so lonely and I left her...stuff like that. I'm a little surprised that she would behave that way but just wondering what experiences have others had with this kind of stuff. It dosen't bother me since I have nothing to hide and I'm just telling people that it just didn't work out...I'm not into mud slinging.

[Jetta]

Sounds like she's bitter and vengeful. You handled it well. If my ex has bad mouthed me I haven't heard.

[coyote1980]

Maybe she was drunk?

[vwright]

drunk or not thats just immature

[mrmaximum]

drunk or not thats just immature

 

Not when you are trying to deflect the blame from yourself. She's not the first to engage in behavior like this and she won't be the last. They know that there is no good reason for their choice of actions and they will be judged for it. They have no choice but to point fingers so that they don't look so bad to other people, however, I will agree that it's quite ballsy not just to blame you CS, but to take her error and make it your crime. That speaks loads about her character.

 

My experience; well my ex simply did what you did. Whenever she met former co-workers (we met at a retail store and pretty much the whole staff knew about us) she simply said things didn't work out, which is fine. I suspect she took this route because if she did tell the whole truth or blame me for the break up, then she most likely suspected that I would defend myself and the truth (well my side) would come out, which didn't cast her in a flattering light whatsoever!!

 

I wasn't perfect but I was far from a jerk and everyone knew I loved her and took care of her three kids. As a result she was already getting grief for letting me go. To tell peeps what really happened would have made her look worse.

[cs90453]

Thanks for the input. I'm still going to take the high road on it and not bother to explain things. My close friends and family know the truth of what happened and that's all that matters to me. I actually feel bad that she has to lie to people still after all that's happened. But it's like you have said that she's not going to face what comes after making a choice like she made. I have to see her again a couple of times more to settle some bills and stuff like that so it's going to be weird but I don't think that I'll bother speaking of it.

[mrmaximum]

There is nothing wrong with taking the high road. In fact the lower your "quarry" sinks, the better it makes you look. It's like they say, living well is the best revenge and where will mudslinging get you? It will only makes things worse which nobody needs at this moment and then as time goes by you may be left with very harsh memories of rash actions that cannot be taken back. I too took this road with my ex and would have even if she started lying about me (to a certain point mind you), although I'm glad that she didn't and I didn't have to make that choice.

 

Usually it's simply better to be the bigger person, no one can fault you for that, yeah?

[cs90453]

Well thanks for the input. I just thought I would just ask others what experiences they had so I know what to expect. Living well is what I will do.