How long did it take you to get back together?

[martin6565]

Hi All,

 

For the people who did get back together, how long did it take? My ex and I broke up 8 months ago, still working on SHOWING her some true change. This is the first extended time we've broken up. So post how long it's taken for you to get back together with an ex.

 

Thanks

[ILikeHockey]

Last time, it took around two months. We were still together pretty much constantly, and I was working really, really hard to show her I could do better.

 

This time, I dunno how long it'll take, or even if/when it'll happen.

[martin6565]

I like hockey too! lol

 

Let's also add to this:

 

1. Are you the dumper or dumpee

2. Is this the first breakup, or what number is it?

3. How long were you dating for?

[ILikeHockey]

What's your favourite NHL team?

 

1) Dumpee, and deserved it (that time)

2) First major one, yeah. It had been coming for a couple weeks prior, and I hadn't been able to pull my head out of my own ass in time to stop it (I was being a complete idiot).

3)13 months.

[martin6565]

I'm a NY Rangers fan, (Unfortunately!) lol but been playing the game since I was young. Alot of fun and a great way to get your mind off things! (Especially in a checking league)

[ILikeHockey]

I think you Rangers fans are about to go through what us Leafs fans have gone through lately, with a bunch of overpaid, underachieving veterans on the team (Redden and Naslund, boo). Oh, you guys can have Hollweg back, by the way, not many Leafs fans seem to want him.

 

I've only ever played street hockey myself. Its kind of embarrassing since I'm from Canada, but I never learned to skate too well

[koreangelxp]

it took 5 months to get back together 6 months for him to say "i love you"

 

dumpee

2nd breakup but 1st major one

20 months

[joshparker]

uhhhh like 4 weeks, didnt last four weeks either lolz, and for some odd reason were trying to get back together right now hahaaha wow im going for a walk

[koreangelxp]

uhhhh like 4 weeks, didnt last four weeks either lolz, and for some odd reason were trying to get back together right now hahaaha wow im going for a walk

 

lol i dont see your going for a walk yet... your still online lol

[AustinHand]

a few months for me but we did break up again this time for good

[Catdancer]

True reconcilitions are very rare. If your relationship was broken enough that you and your partner split up because of it, going right back into it or not taking the time to examine how it failed will lead you right back into break up. This is the whole story of my reconciliation, some may have read it, some not. There are some great points in the thread that those trying to reconcile dont think of.

 

Hope it helps. Cat

[pumpkinmoon]

We were together for about 18 months.

 

He broke up with me. Took almost 4 months to "get back together".

 

Strange thing is I still refer to him as my ex, I haven't started referring to him as my BF yet although he does refer to me as his GF which makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't think I am ready to be "official" yet and I don't really know why.

 

P.s. my ex/bf (whatever he is) plays hockey, how odd! We live in South Wales UK and he flew out to Washington just today for a hockey tournament lol

[pumpkinmoon]

Cat,

 

I did read your thread when you posted it and have just read it again. It's a great post and I think that it is great you are able to try to work on things considering what I have read in your other posts about him.

 

I have a question though... Are you finding that during the time you are spending with him now that you both get on a lot better and that although you know the person and their ways and what not are familiar to you that it kind of feels new again?

 

I am finding this right now and it is quite refreshing really. I feel I am able to be myself more around him, much more so that I was able to when we were together the first time around and we just get on better in general. Of course the hurt and pain of what he put me through is still there and sometimes I feel a lot of resentment towards him but I hope that will pass in time.

[Catdancer]

Hey Shoe!! I'm glad for your reconciliation. Here are the answers to your questions. Take care, Cat

 

Cat,

I did read your thread when you posted it and have just read it again. It's a great post and I think that it is great you are able to try to work on things considering what I have read in your other posts about him.

 

We both have issues that we've had to work thru and we are still working on. The one thing that I do not like about ENA is that is is onesided and virtually impossible to get feedback about your SO other than dump them. It was a hard decision for me to make to reconcile with him. We went thru some crazy crap. But I was moving on. I rebuilt my life without him. I found the things that I had lost inside myself. Things like my self identity, confidence and respect. I thought about it for a long time and weighed all the pros and cons. The cool thing was he and I were able to weigh the pros and cons together. And we BOTH decided that we wanted to try again.

 

I have a question though... Are you finding that during the time you are spending with him now that you both get on a lot better and that although you know the person and their ways and what not are familiar to you that it kind of feels new again?

 

I think I know what you're saying here. He is ver familiar and comfortable to me. But reentering a relationship where both parties have grown and are living their lives separate yet together is a completely different feeling. Being in control of my feelings, actions, confidence and every aspect of my life is empowering, so now I see him and I thru a completely different perspective. Yes it does feel new in a certain way, yet familiar at the same time.

 

I am finding this right now and it is quite refreshing really. I feel I am able to be myself more around him, much more so that I was able to when we were together the first time around and we just get on better in general. Of course the hurt and pain of what he put me through is still there and sometimes I feel a lot of resentment towards him but I hope that will pass in time

 

 

This is where we differ some. I could not enter back into a relationship with him feeling hurt and resentful. It would not work. He and I worked together to overcome all the pain and hurt that we caused each other. That doesnt mean that on occasion something doesnt creep back up, it just means that he and I deal with it immediately and stop it before it escalates.