Aschleigh Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Differentiation is the process of becoming fully you. It is how you define yourself in relationship too others. Highly differentiated people know who they are and stand their own ground in all situation. Lowly differentiated people take on whatever is around them and blend in. So this effects relationships a lot. Because every relationship is a test to see how much of you is there. Do you have a relationship when their is 10% and 90% of your partner, you are lowly differentiated. Do you have your own stuff, interests, preferences, self-soothing ability? Or do you rely on your partner to tell you what you like, what they prefer or how to calm down? You tend to exist your family of origin with the amount of differentiation that your parents achieved. Are you still a part of your family system? Then you have the level of differentiation of your parents? Do you notice that you get irratated with your mother/fathers efforts to pull you into their messy emotions , then you may be defining/differentiating yourself as other than your parents emotions. Differentiating is the process of becoming fully you. You , not your parents or family. You, not your country. You not your husband or wife. Just who you are. It is the most important thing you will ever do. And it is the most loving things you can do for yourself, it is finding who that self it. Link to comment
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