backsliding

[tetur]

I was doing ok for a while. I wasn't better, I'm far from over him, but I had more good days than bad. I was doing ok.

 

But this past week has been horrible for me.

 

I've cried every day. I go to sleep crying, I wake up crying, I cry throughout the day.

 

Facing this 3 day weekend alone is a nightmare. I don't even have friends and family around to distract me. My family is too far away and my friends have either moved away or are in relationships doing their own coupley thing this weekend.

 

I'm just so sick of crying over this guy. I'm so sick of being sad over this.

My life wasn't much different before he came into it so why am I having so much trouble readjusting to what was once the norm for me and that I was ok with.

 

Before him I was alone but I never felt lonely. Now I feel alone and lonely and I hate it.

[Darryl2312]

Hey,

 

Im in the same place, I thought I was over her, then I saw her twice in a month, once with a new guy and this is 10 months after the split.

 

I cheated on my ex though, admitted it, so im to blame, but she did some awful things, took all our possesions, tried to get them back, she then called the police to say I was harrasing her, I got in a lot of trouble, that hurt so much after a 4 year relationship, but I forgave her.

 

Im lonely too, the house is so quiet, I go out with friends and try to keep as busy as I can but still think of her an awful lot.

 

In time, again we will heal.

 

I met another, thought that was the answer it wasnt, we really liked each other but due to her work, we could only see each other once a week, yesterday I let her go, as hard as that was, I need to heal properly firstly then find someone who can give me their all.

 

Life is hard, so hard, I have bad times and good, like you I just want to be loved, I took it for granted with my ex unfortunately.

[ccali78]

I am sorry to hear that. I am having a bad day too. So I come on here. I have not cried. I call them surface tears. I used to cry. I remember how good it felt to cry myself to sleep when I was younger over something stupid. Now I just keep the emotions in and they just stay there. I guess we all deal things differently and that is the hard. I just want him to come back.

 

How long have you been apart?

[tetur]

Long story short - we officially stopped dating in January but nothing really changed between us except for on a physical level. We were still together all of the time and eventually even the physical aspect of things started up again and while there was no official commitment neither of us were dating anyone else - until he met this girl.

 

I miss him so bad today. It's been another morning of tears and fighting the urge to text him and tell him I miss him. Not just as my lover but I miss my friend. Like I said we were always together. Every day. We did everything together. And now we've seen each other twice in the past 10 days.

 

I'm trying to decide which is worse, what I'm going through now or trying to be friends and pretending it doesn't bother me that he's in a relationship with someone else. I want my friend back but we were never just friends and I don't know how to find a balance there.

 

*sigh*

[evice]

Hi

 

I know what you are feeling. I've been in your shoes i.e. without much of a support group for a number of years. I think what you are feeling is grief. There was one person who was your "family" and now he's gone.

 

If there are not many chances at reconciliation with him, I would try to avoid contacting him. Every time there's a new tiny feeling of hope creeps in followed by a let down.

 

Is there any chance you can get involved in some activities that you are interested in? You can make new friends that way and will be your support system.

 

Good Luck