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Lost Intimacy


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I'm not sure if you were asking for advice, or saying that you are thinking of posting some questions on the subject but I read a couple of articles...


"You don’t have to take walks to enjoy special time. You might want to meet somewhere, for instance. That meeting might be in a café or on a park bench. It doesn’t matter where you are when you have special time, what does matter is that you make special time an intimate moment for the both of you. It is so easy to lose touch with the person we married. Don’t let that happen to you and your spouse."

"Special time together is not having sex. It can, of course, lead up to sex eventually, but special time is mostly for talking and just listening to one another as you each share a little bit of yourself with each other. Special time is not talking about the kids, school, work, housecleaning, finances or any other everyday duty and chore that can take you away from each other in the communication. It is for intimacy and closeness, but without actually having sex."


Marriage, sexual intimacy, and children - Tips


1. Acknowledge the issue and commit yourself to seriously working on your marriage and sexual intimacy. The goal is to create a level of improvement that you both find satisfying. Avoid creating added stress by holding unrealistic expectations.


2. Make sacrifices to create the time and space for your marriage and sexual intimacy. If you need to, set aside time in your schedules for your marriage and sexual intimacy. While it’s not spontaneous or romantic, think about all the time you expend nurturing your career, your children, or your physical health. You sex life deserves the attention and focused effort.


3. Keep open, constant communication in your marriage about sexual intimacy. Couples need to get comfortable talking about their sexual feelings. Trying to guess what your partner needs doesn’t work. Open up to each other fully, and remember, the discussions should happen when you both have the time and energy to devote to rational discourse.


4. Learn the “sexual dance” for your marriage and sexual intimacy. The sexual dance begins with a husband engaging his wife emotionally by asking questions about her thoughts and feelings, and then really listening. The woman then feels connected and then, more sexually expressive. Women need to get comfortable being an initiator. Husbands need to proceed slowly and let their wife guide the process.

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