Back again, please help me...please.

[fatboyjuggalo]

im seriously close to killing someone. i've never felt hatred like i feel now and i have nothing to lose.

 

i posted recently about my break up after 6 years. i gave her space and she slept with him. i gave her more space and she built a relationship with him. i gave her even more space and she starts falling for him.

 

now we have been spending time together and she swears up and down that he is absolutely nothing to her. while we aren't together i at least want honesty if we are going to be friends. i still love her deeply and she knows this. and in order for me to really let her go i feel i need to know she wants something other then me.

 

recently she told me that shes angry, its years of pent up anger and thats the only thing keeping us apart. she won't let me comfort her, she just doesnt want to talk about it and pretend like nothings wrong.

 

we go back into our regular routine of things we would do together and its all great until i try to touch her. she lets me cuddle with her some nights and not others.

 

im really at a lost and i seriously can't live without her.

 

im scared that if something doesnt happen soon im going to end up killing this kid. it would all stop if she was just honest with me.

 

please help me. any advice. and no i can't just walk away from her. she's the only thing i have in my life and i can't give her up especially knowing that she still loves me and its only anger keeping us apart.

 

i actually want to know what advice you would give to me and to her.

[Russ]

Mmm, I can probably understand your mindset, so I'll give you advice based on it.

 

Have a talk with the guy, since the girl is being closed about it. Figure out his intentions with her. If you can get him to step off, that's the end of the conflict. Don't threaten him, etc, that just makes you look stupid and desperate in the eyes of the girl. Be diplomatic.

[nuttybuddy]

no contact. it's the only way she'll be honest with u. tell her clearly that if she wants anything to do with u, she's gotta be honest, otherwise, no contact. it's gonna be painful for u and her, but it's the right thing to do. time will heal the pain. u may meet someone better. u can't see it now, but u do not want to hang on to someone who's holding a grudge against u. she has to learn to forgive u for whatever she's angry at you about. and if she wants u in her life for real, she knows what she has to do. if u keep giving her everything she wants, she's NEVER going to be honest with u.

[Russ]

no contact. it's the only way she'll be honest with u. tell her clearly that if she wants anything to do with u, she's gotta be honest, otherwise, no contact. it's gonna be painful for u and her, but it's the right thing to do. time will heal the pain. u may meet someone better. u can't see it now, but u do not want to hang on to someone who's holding a grudge against u. she has to learn to forgive u for whatever she's angry at you about. and if she wants u in her life for real, she knows what she has to do. if u keep giving her everything she wants, she's NEVER going to be honest with u.

 

I agree with that, if you can. You mentioned that you can't walk away from her, so I was hesitant to advise that. If you can, simply shun her until she's ready to talk things out, as stated above.

[fatboyjuggalo]

i talked to him today actually.

 

he told me they are getting really close. and there's nothing i can say or do that's going to stop him from pursuing her. he actually took her to a concert tonight. its where she is at right now.

 

yet i am at our old place (her place now) and she wanted me to be here when she came home.

 

its like shes kept me around to take her to run errands, cook, and clean.

 

either way this goes i will get some peace from it.

 

she'll either drive me to hate her, or realize how great i am. either way I'll be able to stop this nonsense.