sunflower_girl Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 It is so strange to finally realize and admit that. Wow…I really don’t love him anymore. It took me a year to get to this point, but for the past couple of days, the idea started to slowly creep into my head. We broke up a year ago and I was just so hurt, I started dating again, he started seriously dating again…I became jealous and wanted him back. This entire year, I cried so much over this man, I begged for him to take me back, I even though of ways to make him fall in love with me again. (In my head, I was really thinking ….what if I came to his house late at night and demanded to talk. Wouldn’t we get back together then?” Geez, glad I never followed through with that crazy/borderline desperate plan! But…no…I finally realize that I really DON’T love him anymore. This is a odd thing to say because during (and after our relationship) I always thought that I would love him forever—he was going to be the love of my life. But, no. I guess you live, you grow and you learn. People grow apart and first loves are just that---firsts. It does not mean that they should be your last or only. He moved on and I’m starting to be o.k. with it. I’m not with anyone right now…but, that’s fine. I need time for myself, focus on my career and education. I don’t love him anymore because we were not right for each other and I could not see us spending the rest of our lives together. I think this is the last step in my healing process…I won't be posting on enotalone for a while. Link to comment
eTired Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Good luck to you with your healing. I have learned that the only definite in life is that nothing is definite. Link to comment
Taylor527 Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Glad you realized that. I like you line about first loves are just that first. Thats so true and it took me losing my first love to realize that as well. You shouldn't leave us though - you can have some good advise for others on here now that you are over your ex... thats a very hard process for alot of us! Link to comment
skids Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 You shouldn't leave us though - you can have some good advise for others on here now that you are over your ex... thats a very hard process for alot of us! Exactly, you should stick around and share your experience with others. It would only continue to help you along with providing much needed direction and strength for others. I find that has been one of the best benefits of posting here, helping others truly does help heal your own wounds. I've noticed that I myself have been visiting here less and less often as I have healed. Ive been making myself come here and post and try to help others if I can... Link to comment
BrokenDuc Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 im so happy to hear that you've finally realised that. please hang around if you have the time as you can be a great asset and help to others here. i found that i myself had a more rational view on my situation after reading other peoples stories and voicing my opinion on what they should do and in turn it even helped myself. so i'll see you around (no pressure... hehe) PS. i especially like this bit "People grow apart and first loves are just that---firsts. It does not mean that they should be your last or only." Link to comment
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