a black sheep

[princess_bast]

OK, here is my situation. I am 31 and single. I am not very pretty but I am very different from other girls, mostly in my intrests and the way of thinking and functioning. I have a doctorate in science, I am very good with computers and I am very into heavy metal. I am attracted exclusively to pretty metal guys with long hair. I can't help it. Because of the way how I am, when I find a guy I like, I usually win him because guys appreciate me a lot for my knowledge, way of thinking (I am more logical than emotional), the fact that I fit great in their lifestyle of having fun visiting festivals and drinking I am a bit of a fetichist and I like to dress sexy.

The problem is my age, I think. I have a very few girl friends and more guy friends but I can not find a guy of my age that fulfils what I want and I find him attractive. What happens thereforeee is that 4-5 years younger guys (or even more) fall for me. The time is passing, I am aware that if I find a guy I like, I could get him my way but I am tired of searching and I just don't feel it for guys I know. Recently I got to know a 26 y.o. guy and as friends we make a very good company. We go to excursions together and are getting too close personally. I feel bothered by that because I am afraid that he will fall in love with me and I don't want to hurt him. I am not attracted to him and he is too young. I see us getting close and I catch myself thinking how I would like to have a boyfriend with his character and on the other hand I don't want to fall in a relationship like that just because I am alone... I really start to hate myself! I know too well what I am attracted to and I can not change ( I have some very light autistic characteristics)

[Crazyaboutdogs]

You can't help it if this guy ends up falling for you...but maybe he will just see you as a friend. Maybe he doesn't want to date an older woman. I wouldn't worry about it right now. Just enjoy his friendship and don't assume he will fall for you...if he does, you will deal with it when the time comes. As for finding a partner...you can't buy it in a store...better to wait for someone who meshes with you than to grap just anyone.

[annie24]

You can't help it if this guy ends up falling for you...but maybe he will just see you as a friend. Maybe he doesn't want to date an older woman. I wouldn't worry about it right now. Just enjoy his friendship and don't assume he will fall for you...if he does, you will deal with it when the time comes. As for finding a partner...you can't buy it in a store...better to wait for someone who meshes with you than to grap just anyone.

 

i agree. and you're 31, you're young! it's never too late to find love. my mom remarried at 63. so don't feel like you have to find a guy, any guy soon. just go with what happens. of course, you should put yourself in situations where you can meet men, maybe ask your friends to set you up, or sign up for online dating, especially a 'specialty' site that would be right for you. don't despair. and like CAD said, just see where things go with this guy. he might just be a friend for you. or maybe you'll get to know him and you'll decide that he's a great guy for you, despite his younger age. jump off that bridge when you get there.

[SchecterGuy]

I kind of have that same feeling. I kind of feel like I am an outcast around here in the Silicon Valley. I too am very much into heavy metal, I do not dress totally like a prep, my forms of entertainment tend to be very juvenile, although I am getting my MBA I am not one of those super money driven people that reads the Wall Street Journal everyday, and I represent an ethno/cultural minority here. Mainly because I do not fit the dominate cultures here it makes me very worried about finding a girl. Like I will never find someone I have a lot in common with.