Obsessed with her....how do i reduce it

[pilotguide]

Hiya, im kind of new to this site, but anyways i have a problem and was wondering if you could help me out. Ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 8 months, and we're very happy together, never had fights or anything. The problem began when we started getting very intimate in the last few months, and that brought us alot closer. Now i can never get her out of my head, i think about her every day and night, in school, in the shower, when im out with my friends. The problem is, its the xmas holidays now and she went out of town for the holidays, and i still think about her alot....the thing is im having a funny feeling in my heart, its similar to when you're under alot of stress and its a mixture of nervousness and anxiety. I know this is unhealthy for me, and i think its being caused by me missing her alot and always longing for her.....I still love her alot, but i think if i dont do something about my obsession its going to lead to an unhealthy relationship. I was wondering if there are any tips such as activities or something that would help me think about her less and grow less attached to her....nothing seems to work, when i watch tv or read a book i always think about and what she might be doing, and this feeling im getting is really bothering me thx

[The Morrigan]

Have you tried doing something more physical? Or something that you're actually putting yourself into, and have to work on, instead of something more passive? Anything from videogames, to writing, to art and music, code design, whatever your particular interest is in, if you're actually DOING something that needs some focus and concentration, sometimes it's harder for your attention to wander, and if it's something artistic, you can focus that emotion as well into what you're doing. Even physical exercise, sometimes burning off some of that excess nervous energy can help a bit.

 

Is it as strong when you're hanging with your friends and doing stuff in a group? If that helps, by all means, get out there and get busy with them!

 

You're smart to realize yourself when you're getting too wrapped up in her to give much attention to yourself anymore, and to recognize it can damage your relationship - this is something most people (me included) don't realize until it's already causing problems, so you're off to a good start already.

[goofy]

It's all good man... If I was in your shoes... I would go work out... hit the gym and work on the weights... working out helps me reduce a day of stress or reduce the part where I think about the ladies... haha...and plus when she gets back... she would be impressed by the muscular look... ladies like that... it's a plus... haha..

[Auriqua]

So, now you experience what 'seriously, deeply in love' means! And, probably you do not want to hear it right now, but it wears of after a period of time. The anxiety feeling gets less.

 

I can only say: if you want your mind set off of her for a while: do something physical. Play soccer, basketball, squash or another sport that you love.

 

Giving attention to your friends is also a good way. And maybe you haven't got them the attention they deserve over the last period. Or watch a movie that you have to concentrate on. I hope this helps to ease your mind a bit.

[pilotguide]

thx a lot, i'll try my best to focus my mind on other things, though i think the whole procces of detachment will take time