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!!Internet Dating - First Date!!


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I was looking for some advice regarding internet dating.


I met my last partner on the internet and we had a great 5 year relationship but I'm now back on the market and have decided to go about it the internet way again.


I have to say that it has been pretty unsuccessful so far and I haven't really met anyone apart from one guy who I have been talking to for about 3-4 weeks now. We've been getting on really well, speaking very regularly, haven't been flirting yet (which I think is a good thing) but have decided that we should meet up next week sometime or the week after for a date!


As I haven't been in the dating loop for some years I was hoping that someone could offer me some advice or tips for the actual date. I keep reading how much internet dating has changed recently but I'm not so sure that it's any different from when I did it before. For example apparently, that "spark" when you meet, doesn't happen anymore thereforeee you have to have a few dates before you can really see if someone is right for you. I had an instant spark with my ex so I know it happens but apparently nowadays it doesn't, is that really the case?


Also if we're getting on really well and enjoying each others company should I cut the date short (keep it to around an hour or two) or just stay for as long as I'm happy to even though I could seem too keen or outstay my welcome?


I'm really hoping that this works out because like many people have said it's hard to not think that something will come out of it but I'm prepared for it all to be a disaster. I've seen many photos of this guy so I know what he looks like but as we all know, in photo and in person can be very different.


I just hope that my smile doesn't fade really quickly lol when we meet.


Any advice would be most welcome.



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I always liked cafes that sold both several types of coffee, and alcohol, and desserts. If you drink, a drink or two is a good way to loosen up for a first date. But you definitely don't want to go beyond a couple drinks. After drinks, switch over to coffee and order a dessert.


A low lighting level I always found enjoyable, too. It seems darker environments are less anxiety-prone as you don't feel every gesture, motion, aspect of yourself is fully exposed.


That's the best advice I can give other than 'ol cliche "Just be yourself".

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^^^What James said^^^


Plus be yourself. Theres no point trying to be anything your not,and once your know that your going to be yourself you relax more..Keep the conversation light & fun


Dont expect a spark or anything,just treat it as a fun date with someone you barely know..

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i agree with getting coffee or dessert or lunch. something light, and a chance to get to know each other. don't think too deeply about this - just see this as an opportunity to go to a new cafe and meet a new person. let the chips fall as they may.

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Thanks guys for all your advice.


I think all the suggestions are good and the low lighting one I am definitely going to try to achieve, although I think we'll be meeting in the day so it may be a bit tricky.


Assuming things go well, how should I leave it? We haven't spoken on the phone or anything so don't have each others numbers but should I ask for it at the end or leave it to them to?

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pepper spray .. hahahaha

when i met my now ex for the first time in person

i brought a pepper spray, turns out it got out of my purse and was left in his car.

the next day he came over, and gave it back to me hahahahaha


but yeah just be on the safe side, and try to put it in a safe place so it doesnt slip out of y0ur purse like it happened to me

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I am not sure where you got that about the initial spark - there were a number of men I felt that with upon first meeting them.


I avoided meeting any man until we spoke by phone and I preferred to have his last name and a land line or work phone number so I could google him and make sure all was ok.


Otherwise, I agree with annie on where to meet and how to approach this. good luck and have fun on your first meet!

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