help anyone?

[doyouloveme]

we were together for 2 years before we both went off to college. at the time, we thought that we would be able to do a ldr (we are 6 hours apart). but it turned out that the distance was too much and 9 months ago she decided that we should break up. she convinced me to stay friends despite the fact that i told her that i didn't want that. i was scared that if i didn't keep in touch, we would drift apart quickly. looking back, i can see that it was a mistake, but there's nothing i can do now. anyway, we kept in touch and at first we talked almost everyday. even though eventually we started talking less, we still saw each other about once a month (when we both went home during days off from college).

 

in december, i could feel that we were drifting apart and after reading a lot of stuff from ena, i decided to go nc. i guess it worked. in february she called me one night telling me how much she missed me and us. she also told me how amazing our love for each other was. and she asked if i could go visit her at her school. coincidentally, i had that weekend free and i decided to make the trip to see her. i didn't know what to expect, but i just decided to try to have fun. during that weekend we both realized how much we missed each other and we shared a passionate kiss and cuddled together in bed. i didn't want to go any further than that, wanting to take things slow since they seemed to be working out better.

 

well i was wrong. after occasional conversations for the next month, we decided to meet up again in march. for some reason, this time, it felt much more distant. there was no kissing, no cuddling, we were just friends i guess. i shouldn't have expected anything, but unfortunately i did. we spent 4 days together. it was nice, but very platonic.

 

after that, we sort of went nc. a lot of it was because i was very busy and she was too. eventually in may, i decided to call her to catch up. we started talking again. and when my birthday came around, she did wish me happy birthday and apologized for not being able to see me to celebrate.

 

after we both finished our semesters in college, we went back home and decided to meet up. it went pretty well, but before the meeting she tried really hard to invite other people to come along. she had never done this before. i'm not sure why she would decide that it would be awkward for us to hang out alone after all these other times that we did. no one else could make it though but the day turned out pretty good to me. i took her home at the end of it and we hugged goodbye.

 

a few days ago, she messaged me to have a talk about us. she asked if i was completely alright with our friendship and whether i was expecting more. i told her it was going as best as it could be. then she brought up the fact that i took her home and how i didn't treat her as a typical friend. the conversation ended with me asking if she thought that we would never be together ever again (big mistake i know!!). she answered that she didn't see us getting together again.

 

looking back i guess i do regret being friends. all along i wanted her back. even if i told myself that i didn't and that i could move on, deep down inside i know that i missed being with her. and i really do still want her back.

 

she is on vacation for the next few days so i have some time to decide. i still want this girl back but i know that it will be impossible without winning her back all over again. i guess the only thing i have going for me is that i already know her very well. what do i do now? we have 3 years of college left before we both return to the same city. i know that it is probably best to just give up on her and find someone new. but that's not what i want. i've thought about it a lot over the last 9 months and i've tried being interested in and dating other girls, but at the end i still want to be with her. I know that it will be very difficult for us to be together again, but i know i will definitely regret it if i just gave up on her. what do i do??

[BrokenDuc]

sorry pal

you cant make her love you and being her friend is just torturing you so you better push yourself away before it hurts more. do it for yourself and remember we are here to help as many have or are going through the same thing here...

[XCRunner1]

DoYouLoveMe,

 

Trust me, just please do yourself a favor and walk away from this. This girl threw you through the loop after the breakup, and you when she told you to jump (i.e. make a trip to see her at college), you said "How High?" You needed to make yourself the prize...and you can start now because anything else you do will only push her away even more.

 

Trust me, move on. It's hard, it is for everyone, but you really need to.

[doyouloveme]

i guess i knew this day would come eventually. i wish i wasn't a crutch for her all these months, now i feel like i'm being tossed to the side after she's healed.

[method]

Can only imaging how much this hurts mate, must be worse than the original breakup. Im in much the same dilemma, think i should stop talking to my ex now.