Best Shot to turn a friend into a girfriend: Is this a sound strategy?

[meaningsearcher]

Best Shot To Turn A friend into a girlfriend.

 

Not my idea, Scott Patterson's

 

Step 1- Don't be a friend when you first meet a woman

 

The first step is to never become friends with a woman. Instead of acting like a woman's buddy when you first meet her, you should act like a guy she would want to date. In other words, there are certain things women observe that help them place guys into either the "friend" category or the "boyfriend" category.

 

I'll give you a hint- if you're always there for her and treat her with kindness and respect then you'll probably end up in the friend category.

 

In order to prevent this, you should act in an aggressive and sexual manner from the moment you meet a woman. In essense you will want to act in a way that a friend wouldn't.

 

Step 2- Remove yourself from her

 

Now if you're already in a situation where you're *just friends* then you're going to have to do something dramatic.

 

You have to stop hanging out with her!

 

This means you stop calling her, emailing her, and hanging out. Do everything you can remove yourself from the friendship.

 

While it's important to never be a jerk to her, you have to become a "really busy" guy who doesn't have much time to hang out. You can return her calls and messages, but make sure you do it over after a couple of days.

 

Bottom line is you should stop being the guy who is always there for her.

 

Step 3- Date other women

 

When you've stopped talking this girl, you have to date other women. In order for this system to work, you should make a decision about your friend. Either you can decide to stay friends or continue working towards making her your girlfriend.

 

By dating other women, you'll start to develop a more confident attitude about women. In essense, you'll start to see how she compares with other women.

 

Step 4- Contact her after a period of not talking

 

Once you've dated different women for a couple of months, you should make a decision about your female friend. You've can either choose to be friends or try to develop a relationship. If you want to make your friendship more physical, then you should contact her.

 

Now when you initially talk to her, make sure you speak to her like a potential dating partner, not like a friend. In other words, don't be all buddy-buddy with her. Instead act in a way that a guy she would want to date.

 

Step 5- Treat her like a woman

 

Now that you're talking to her again, start behaving in a way that'll make her attract to you. Ask her on dates, flirt with her and treat her like a woman. The more you can do to act like a MAN, the more she'll see you in a new light.

 

Turning a friend into a girlfriend is a hard thing to do. Women are naturally inclined to categorize men to the friend or boyfriend category. So it's up to you to make a dramatic turnaround and transform yourself into the kind of guy she'll want to date.

 

While these five steps are pretty extreme, it can be your best solution for transforming a casual friendship to relationship.

[chocolates]

such strategising....

[meaningsearcher]

YES, that's true, but what about the validity? Is it poopycock?

[SoMuchLove]

You're like a brother to her. You listen to all her stories about screwing other guys, getting screwed over, and how men suck. You get the late night phone calls to pick her up when she is in trouble. You go to lunch with her and hang out at her house. One problem. You want her body and she would never have sex with her “brother.”

This is the world of the nice guy. It really doesn't matter who the girl is, because the nice guy will replace her with a similar girl. Thus, the nice guy has fundamental problems with himself, which needs to be fixed before he can get the right girl. That is correct, but I disagree with what other writers have said about never turning a friend into a lover. It can be done. I'll outlay a step by step approach to doing it, but let me make this clear. It is recommended to use this if you are stuck in such a situation, not as a means of day to day meeting girls. If you believe that being a girl's friend is a good long term way to become her lover, you in for long and frustrated nights with your hand.

Step 1 - Realize Your Asset

Nice guys need to realize what asset they bring to the girl who they are “best” friends with. They bring unconditional male attention to her, whenever she wants it. If she is ever feeling blue, unattractive, unwanted, or down in any way, guess who she calls for the ego boost, YOU. It is no coincidence that nice guys are often friends of single girls, you fulfill the male attentions that they need without them giving up anything.

So what does this mean? Well realizing your bargaining chip means you realize how to make her pursue you. Women like to have a comfort level within their relationships, and do not like to have it disrupted. Unfortunately for them, that's exactly what you will do.

Step 2 - Tell her you are interested

Your probably saying, what the hell? While this step seems to go against every rule known to mankind, it is an important set up. The setup is basically this, you need to get her to actually begin to think about you in a sexual way, which later will be re-enforced.

This also needs to be made clear, do not profess your undying devotion and love to her. You don't show up with love poetry blasting love songs telling her how you have been obsessing about her, even though you probably are. The approach is still a direct one though, don't beat around the bush and act like a {Edit} ask her point blank, how would she feel about going out and seeing what happens.

Step 3 - Be Prepared For the NO

There is about a 95% percent chance she will say no to you either directly or indirectly. Some of the more direct statements will be:

* I just don't see you in THAT way.

* No, your more like a brother to me.

The indirect ones:

* I think it would ruin the friendship.

* I just don't want a relationship right now.

Take anything other than an unequivocal yes as an outright no. The response to this doesn't really matter, since we know it was going to be in the negative, and were ready for it. Don't argue with her, don't get mad, don't try to bargain for a yes. Simply state that you understand and change the topic.

The seeds have been set now, she is actually pondering the question of what it would be like to have a sexual relationship with you. This alone will not change her mind, since why would be necessary for her to take it to that level when she can get everything she needs from you without doing that? That's where Step 4 comes in.

Step 4 – Withdraw the Asset slowly

Remember Step 1? Now you're going to slowly withdraw that asset from her. You need to start to be unavailable, not there to pick her up when she is down, not being the Mr. Super Nice Guy you were before. This is to not say your going to ignore her or be mean, but its time to throw a monkey wrench in her comfort level with you.

 

For example, if you come to her house every Thursday afternoon, skip it and instead give her a quick call. The key here is not to look like your mad for her saying no, but at the same time start to withdraw the massive amounts of attention you typically shower her with. This kicks women into pursuit mode, not necessarily sexual, but they will now pursue you to get back the attention your withdrawing and get them back the comfort level they know.

Step 5 – Play the Jealously Card

So now you have her thinking about what it would be like to be sexual with you, and pursuing you to get back the attention, still that typically is not going to be enough. You got to play the card which is a women's often greatest weakness, jealously.

Women hate to see another girl have what they had, or could have had. This drive is so powerful it has been known to bring the most hard nose {Edit} to pursuing like teenagers. How do you use it? Easy. Since she has rejected you romantically, you are free to date anyone you want right in front of her. She technically has no right to be mad or jealous, though that will not be the case.

You need to go out with other girls, the more the better. The more she knows about it the better as well. Yet again, you must not overstep your bound and throw it in her face or make it obvious you are trying to make her jealous. Just simply find another girl, take her out, be seen with her, and if possible be seen with her where your “friend” is going to be. If your “friend” asks don't hesitate her tell her about it, but again don't throw it in her face.

What does this do? Well it now puts the pressure on her ten-fold. She will not want to think she is missing out on something and the other steps will be solidified. You need to keep this up with different girls and she will make

the move.

Step 6 – Patience, Patience, Patience

This will usually work, but it does not happen overnight. For the attention to be withdrawn, her to pursue you to get it back, and the jealously factor to put her over the top, will take some time. Don't fret, don't panic and just stay your course and keep your cool.

Step 7 – Handling Her Move

She will make a move on you to get you back. The key here is not to grab it and think you won the game. Typically in most situations, girls will give you the least amount they think they can in order to get what they want. For example, if she believes that if she kisses you once you will fall back right into your old ways, then she will do it and do only that. From the example you can see the way to defeat such an expectation is not to go right back to your old ways. Match whatever shes offering you equally and let her up the ante each time. If she thinks she can just rub your leg and you'll come back, and that's true, that's exactly what she will do. Then what a consequence when your back to acting like your old self, she will decide she just wants to be friends again. Don't play that game.

Step 8 – You either Got What you Want or you Didn't

If you ever had any chance, this typically would work, if you never had a chance in hell, nothing would have worked. Keep in mind, these steps can be repeated as necessary, but this stuff is tiresome, time consuming, and is not the preferred route. The most efficient route would be to never get stuck in such a rut to have to work out of in the first place.

[CaptainNapalm]

As if this "woman" you are trying to make your girlfriend will wait around through all that. Nonsense if you ask me. I've had friendships turn into dating, initiated by the woman not me, with none of that strategic planning so in my opinion a woman either likes you or not, disappearring from her life will not only encourage her to find a boyfriend but even a substitute friend instead so you'll risk getting absolutely nothing.

[CaptainNapalm]

In addition, there are an increasing number of women out there these days that look for friendship frist and then something more so if you initially meet a woman and start acting like a horny aggressive pervert like all the other guys she meets there is a good chance you'll get laughed off of any chances by her.

[meaningsearcher]

maybe your slightly missing the point. Its not about being scheming and deceitful. It actually seems more genuine if you think about it. Is I'd genuine to play the part if the friend if what you really want is more?

[Carmine]

I don't get why you shouldn't just move onto another girl instead of going through all of that. If you get yourself in a position where you become a girl you want to date's friend, I say either suck up any feelings you have for her and remain a friend or avoid her if you really are so set on her. As CaptainNapalm said, sometimes things change. If you accept friendship and are content with it, as opposed to pretending to be a friend when you still want her as a girlfriend, your chances are probably better of her recognizing you in a different light since you're acting genuine, not with an undercover plan to make her jealous and attracted to you.

 

I don't see what's so bad about having attractive girls as only friends. They offer all the benefits any friendship would, PLUS they can also hook you up with their other girl friends. I've met a lot of girls who were interested in me through girl friends and girl relatives, and the friend or cousin acted as an catalyst to hook us up.

 

maybe your slightly missing the point. Its not about being scheming and deceitful. It actually seems more genuine if you think about it. Is I'd genuine to play the part if the friend if what you really want is more?

 

If you want more, you ask her out. If she gives you the friend speech, you move on. You can be out meeting a number of other girls in the time that it takes you to play all these games with this one girl.

[servedcold]

Carmine, I think the point -is- to move onto other women, to reduce the importance in one's life of the woman who isn't sexually attracted or interested.

 

As part of that process, it's possible, even likely, that the guy will find someone better suited, while at the same time increasing the chances that the friend he desires will begin to see him as more attractive sexually.

 

I agree with the advice posted previously in the thread. If there weren't so many puppy dog guys fawning on women and trying to weasel their way into bed or a dating relationship with a woman who is more than willing to keep them around (who wouldn't like having a free fan club? I sure would), things would be much easier for all of us.

 

And to the poster who observed that that sure is a lot of strategy, LOL it sure is. Guess why we men feel that we have to be tactical masters sometimes...

[Carmine]

I understand, served. I'm just saying that there shouldn't be any underlying purpose to looking into other women besides the purpose of...looking into other women. If a guy thinks, "Hmm...if I date all these other girls, then whatsherface will HAVE to get jealous and want me! Muhahaha!" then that's just dumb. I don't think anyone here is saying that, though. All the strategizing to get one girl is just a bit funny.

[justanotherhurtguy]

...there are an increasing number of women out there these days that look for friendship frist and then something more...

 

I agree. A lot of my friends that are dating women right now started as friends first.

[boo121]

Your comments about flirting etc are good, but dont waste your time on her if you are looking for something other than friendship.

 

stop chasing women, stop giving your power away to them, stop worrying about which catagory you might be placed in.

[meaningsearcher]

yeah this was more of a what if question. I do realize the best thing is to not get involved in this game but if you were how could you play it the best. I do think the way. And yes it has the benefit of getting you to move on as well!