...too much pain.... too much...

[ilovethatgirl]

I thought I could live with knowing that she didnt love me anymore, but I was wrong... my life no longer holds any meaning for me. The only thing keeping me from going and killing myself right now is the promise she made that we would get back together over the summer....

 

but I'm so scared.... I'm scared that I'll step over that fatal line before the summer comes... I've been distracting myself as best I can during the day, but I dont want to sleep, because when I lie down in bed, there are no more distractions, and I just want to die....

[Reilly2856]

Firstly, if you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to let someone know. Your parents, especially. DOn't keep this fear to yourself...share it with your family so that they can get you the proper help (ie. medications, counselling,etc.). It is not anything to be ashamed of. Secondly, you should not so willingly give up your life for someone who may or may not get together with your over the summer. Giving someone that much power over your life is dangerous and very unfair to yourself. You're selling yourself short. It may not seem like it, but she is not the only girl for you. At 16, if she was your first love, you may feel that she is it. But things change, people change...but you have to keep on moving forward. There is so much you still need to do in life, so much that your family and friends want to see you become. DOn't throw it all away for one individual who never loved you enough to stay with you in the first place. Just remember, love is not life....it is merely a part of life.

Just because it didn't work out with this girl, does not mean that you have failed and you will never fall in love again. Love has been known to come to you a second time. It may not be her, but someone who is a thousands times better. Just give yourself the opportunity to wait for her. Give yourself the time to experience life...don't cut it short for one girl who decided to leave.

[Zephyr42]

Is she aware of how badly strung-out you are over this? My concern is that she simply blurted out the promise about getting back together because she was terrified of you going and doing something stupid and she desperately needed to buy time. What happens then, when summer rolls around (although I suppose it's technically here for you northerners)?

 

Suicide is incredibly stupid, especially over a girlfriend at the age of sixteen, but I won't waste your time and mine harping on about it - God knows that only ever made me more determined when I was in the mood.

 

A possible answer? You seem bent on killing yourself, an unquestionably drastic action, arguably the most drastic action. Why not try something else? Get a tattoo, drop out of school and get a job packing shelves at the mega-chain supermarket, change your name to Salubrious Banana (oh, wait, you're only sixteen), indulge in minor acts of criminality, or anything. Sure, they're all stupid things to do, but at least you stay alive. Even with a tattoo, you can regret having done it, even if you are unable to do anything about it.

[ilovethatgirl]

I've been hiding from the pain, distracting myself by immersing myself in my imaginings as a creative writer and a world of warcraft machinima maker... is this healthy?

[Angel_baby]

Video games can be a good distraction in moderation, otherwise it can have a negative effect. The writing is a very good thing to do! Expressing yourself and being creative. What do you write about?

 

Also have you tried to look for things to do outside the house...? Like getting a job maybe? It would not only keep your mind off of feeling so low but you would also have some extra cash! And I for one know that it makes a person feel a little better to buy themselves something.

 

Distraction is key right now for you to get through this. Once you do you will see that you really can be happy again. I promise you.

[Brittanyxvx]

Positive distractions are very helpful, but hiding is wrong.

You may want to talk to someone.

 

Your world revolved around her..

You have to the the center of your own world though, Love.

And know that you have value.

 

Silversteins from Canada.. that's something. =]

And you seem pretty bright, to even seek help/advise.

 

My names Brittany, I'm fifteen.

If you'd like to chat, send me a message?