ImThatGirl Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Keep you hanging by a thread. Call and ask you for favors. Call to chit chat. Call to discuss their new relationship or troubles. Send text messages out of the blue. But continue to say: "I don't want to work things out right now." "I won't not have you in my life." "Why can't we be friends." "Maybe at some point..." DON'T LET THEM DO THAT TO YOU!!!!! Don't be the mat that they walk all over. Don't disrespect yourself. Don't sit back hoping that if you are still nice, they will suddenly change their mind and everything will go back to the way it was before. I did it for over a year. My ex was so unpredictable, non-committing, disrespectful. I tried to tell him several times that I wasn't there to be just a friend to him and that he shouldn't contact me. He was flaky as all get out. I insisted that he stop contacting me. With a note that if he worked out his issues and determined that he wanted to be in a serious, committed relationship, at that point, he could call. This left me with the ability to get on with my life rather than sitting around hoping today would be the day. This gave me the ability to think of a future without him. This gave me the ability to plan for and enjoy life without the weight of his inconsistancies on my shoulders. Gave me a chance to see the reality of the situation and that our "relationship" was unhealthy and that it would never change. Stand up for yourself and don't settle for friendship just because you are hoping they will suddenly wake up and smell the coffee. Link to comment
rtoycrow Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 somehow i think this post is directed at me lol just kidding. I have made up my mind to tell the ex to leave me alone until she wants a relationship with me. this is getting way out of hand. Link to comment
Clabs Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Amen sister - this is so true. Mark Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Agreed! very good advice. I had an ex like this... he was very selfish and just wanted to keep all his options open, without any real responsibility to anyone else. People like that are the worst because they will jerk everyone around to get their own needs met without reference to the effect of their behavior on anyone else. Link to comment
EddieAdams Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was strung along for 4 months......but it was even worse. Not only were we not friends, we were in a "special" relationship...according to her. But, not boyfriend and girlfriend or anything that would make anyone think that we were a couple....and I allowed this to happen because we had been engaged and I thought that because we "almost" were married and we had most of the wedding paid for that this woman I loved so much would NEVER play me or string me along...........WRONG! Link to comment
Sarjunt Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 NO, I'm pretty sure this is directed at me! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 rtoycrow and Sarjunt ~ I do wish you both would tell those girls to get lost! There are so many people though that have a difficult time doing this (including me a few months ago.) Your threads sparked memory's of my sitting and waiting for my ex to get it together. He never did. About a year and a half, I pretty much allowed myself to dangle by his tiny string. That was SO much wasted time, hurt, sadness, confusion!! I think sometimes, we allow ourselves to be strung along. For fear of being alone, having to start over, not wanting to give up on something that we're so invested in. Link to comment
Sarjunt Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Ya know, I agree. I know this will come crashing down soon, and I can't wait. Sweet vindication. But when she see's I've been working out everyday, I stopped smoking, I started doing things that I want to do. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I think I'm a really good looking guy, and I really have no problem. I would love to turn the tables. Link to comment
flooglebinder Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I've had it for 2years!!! - I always said to her as soon as she met someone else that would be it! - well she has, so that is that....................isnt it? - No she has contacted me wanting to be friends, why o why o why. Well - I've got off my touche and just started seeing someone. It is very different, weird, not what I'm used to, scary even, but I WILL NOT go back, I havent anymore time to waste. This is how I feel today. tomorrow is another story, but I will be the writer - not her! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 Ya know, I agree. I know this will come crashing down soon, and I can't wait. Sweet vindication. But when she see's I've been working out everyday, I stopped smoking, I started doing things that I want to do. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I think I'm a really good looking guy, and I really have no problem. I would love to turn the tables. Oh the beauty it will be when she realizes what she has done. She'll realize anyway - how good she had it with you. Just be careful and make sure you realize how good of a guy you really are and that you don't have to accept this petty disrespectful treatment! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 I've had it for 2years!!! - I always said to her as soon as she met someone else that would be it! - well she has, so that is that....................isnt it? - No she has contacted me wanting to be friends, why o why o why. Well - I've got off my touche and just started seeing someone. It is very different, weird, not what I'm used to, scary even, but I WILL NOT go back, I havent anymore time to waste. This is how I feel today. tomorrow is another story, but I will be the writer - not her! I hear you about tomorrow being another story. How long has it been since you two split? I always told my ex to call his other friends instead of calling me. He'd call and call and eventually I'd answer. He now has one of those girls living with him as a roommate. And finally - he doesn't call. (well he called once when he was at a concert - not sure the point of that he didn't talk.) That was just a couple weeks ago and we've not communicated since early March besides an occasional text here and there now that I am free and done with the relationship. Link to comment
iwasoncethewine Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I think instead of waiting for that commitment, realize that someone like this isn't going to commit for a LONG TIME if ever! That's a green light to move on! Link to comment
flooglebinder Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I hear you about tomorrow being another story. How long has it been since you two split? I always told my ex to call his other friends instead of calling me. He'd call and call and eventually I'd answer. He now has one of those girls living with him as a roommate. And finally - he doesn't call. (well he called once when he was at a concert - not sure the point of that he didn't talk.) That was just a couple weeks ago and we've not communicated since early March besides an occasional text here and there now that I am free and done with the relationship. We split nearly 2 years ago, but remained friends as we were single, and all that did was push us back together for a couple of months over last xmas. (amazing time but SO WRONG for me). then she decided it wasnt her future. We kept in contact til she met someone 6 weeks ago. Had sporadic contact since, her saying she missed her best friend, well 8 days and silence, cant be missing me much! I'm just sick of it all, I'm not hanging round any longer - Though I know I will miss her like I do everyday it wont stop me moving on. Link to comment
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