kevin0440 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Hi folks, I've been going with a girl for almost 2 and half years and I think our relationship is going well overall I think it is, we shared an appartment together for a while but I came home for Summer break and she'll come to me and then we are going to decide on where to go after college together. I left a week ago and she went out with 2 of her friends and met some of her work friends as well and started chatting to people as you do when out, She's quite out going and a chatty type girl and she was speaking to a guy and in her words had 'no interest at all that way in the guy' but enjoyed the conversation she was quite drunk she said but knew where she was, so the bar closed and she goes to the local store that's open all night to buy some juice but needed to go to the bathroom, so the new guy she met who walked down to the shop with her as he lived accross the street invited her in to use the toilet. She said then she sat spoke to the guy for a while in his house 15mins or so before falling asleep on his sofa, the guy left her and went to his bed but she woke up after 2hrs or so of sleeping and left to go home... I trust my girlfriend 100% but just something hearing this story I don't know what it is but it sounds strange, I suppose what I'm saying is how would most folk on here react to find this out? i admire her for telling me and she says nothing at all happened but I still felt a bit let down hearing the story. many thanks folks, Kevin Link to comment
Bkoguy07 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Sounds honest to me... especially after she just left soon after waking up, also good of the guy to sleep in his bed and all that... I wouldn't really think twice about it but Idk your g/f either lol Link to comment
Snoopy24 Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 well if you trust her 100%, there really shouldn't be anything you should be worried about cheating wise.. I have to say though, I wouldn't feel comfortable with her going to some other guys house she didn't know (drunk or not) i think that is very dangerous.. Wasn't she with friends? Why didn't she go with them? Link to comment
rosephase Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 I trust my girlfriend 100% Then you are set. Does it really matter what other people think? Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 i would basically accept it but make it clear this kind of behavior is not ok and that she needs to learn not to get so drunk she passes out at a random guys places, that isnt safe in the least. Link to comment
Fisch Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Jealousy and control will only drive her away. On the other hand, you should tell her what you think is right or wrong, that may not be to say that you don't trust her but if you think what she did was irresponsible. Make sure she knows you want her to make the decisions for herself, but tell her what you think. Link to comment
servedcold Posted June 2, 2008 Share Posted June 2, 2008 Nice friends she has to leave her plastered in a bar with a strange man... Know you are young, so may be some different, but I tell my GFs early on that I have no desire to control them, but if we are dating exclusively, I don't expect them to be doing things like getting drunk to the point of passing out and closing down bars. If they aren't comfortable with that, it's not time to be exclusive, as I don't close down bars when I'm dating someone exclusively. Since only you know all the context, if the situation were reversed, how would she react? If she would be totally fine with it, given the parameters of your relationship, then maybe you should be too. Keep your eyes open. After much experience with this sort of thing, this kind of behavior is almost never as innocent as they describe, but they will tell you a slanted version of the story to salve their conscience. Link to comment
GypsyMuse Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 First let her know you appreciate that she told you. That way you keep the lines of communication open and she isn't afraid to tell you things in the future. Next tell her your main concern is that she didn't really know this guy and you are concerned for her safety. Jealousy and concern for her safety are two different things and most people can sense the difference. If you come accross as jealous, then she'll feel like you don't trust her and she'll be pissed that she told you and may have some resentment. If you come accross (honestly) as being concerned but still giving her space to be her own person and make decisions (that you're not trying to "control" her) then it might bond you closer. It doesn't sound like anything happened to compromise your relationship, so I wouldn't overly worry about it. Link to comment
Seymore Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I'd be upset, but I'd also recommend that the next time she decided to go out drinking (and her friends leave her) to call you for a lift home. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 i'd be pissed. this should never happen. some random guy? this should be added to my 'Who does that?' thread. Link to comment
kevin0440 Posted June 3, 2008 Author Share Posted June 3, 2008 Hi Folks, Many thanks for the replies and advice from everyone. I've spoken with my girlfriend a few days and she says is deeply sorry and she can understand that I am a bit angry about it all also how dangerous it could have been and I explained that if it was me falling asleep at someone's house - so I said to her to tell me straight if anything happened and she said 'no, nothing at all like that' and she explained again and sounded honest, she's willing to move to my state after college (she finishes soon) but I let her know how stupid she was to get in the situation even if she was needing the bathroom. Many thanks guys for all your help and advice. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I'm with Ghost on this one. I would be heated....... My first reaction when I read the thread was......How can he be so sure she is telling the complete truth and if she was so drunk that she needed to pass out somewhere, how does she know that nothing really happened? Just my thought on things. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 i know if i told my girl this happened with me and some random, she'd be furious. if not furious, i'd probably more than likely be single. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 i know if i told my girl this happened with me and some random, she'd be furious. if not furious, i'd probably more than likely be single. and if I had told my ex the same thing, my picture would probably be on the side of a milk carton......j/k Seriously......To the OP, her behavior could cause her some serious injury or even death. There are some sick sick people in this world that thrive on drunk girls that are alone. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 next she is going to say they exchanged numbers cause she wanted to thank him for allowing her to sleep over. why wasn't a cab involved? Link to comment
teknoise Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I dunno. If its some random guy within a circle of friends that she knows, and the guy is only random because she hadn't met him yet, then I wouldn't be too upset, though its still not the smartest thing to do. Sometimes when yer drunk its pretty easy to pass out randomly so I wouldn't nail her for purposely falling asleep at some guys place as opposed to calling you first. I can't say I'd be thrilled if my gf told me this, but given what context we do have, I wouldn't s*** the bed over it. Its not a trust issue, thats for sure. Its more of a relatively dumb drunken move sort of issue. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 I dunno. If its some random guy within a circle of friends that she knows, and the guy is only random because she hadn't met him yet, then I wouldn't be too upset, though its still not the smartest thing to do. Sometimes when yer drunk its pretty easy to pass out randomly so I wouldn't nail her for purposely falling asleep at some guys place as opposed to calling you first. I can't say I'd be thrilled if my gf told me this, but given what context we do have, I wouldn't s*** the bed over it. Its not a trust issue, thats for sure. Its more of a relatively dumb drunken move sort of issue. so let's say they did have sex. is that still a dumb drunken move? i've always been level headed when drinking. if it's a problem, you shouldn't drink that much. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 The fact that she was so drunk that she needed to crash at some random dude's place, how can she say without a doubt that something didn't happen? Women shouldn't really drink like that. It just spells disaster. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 3, 2008 Share Posted June 3, 2008 hey at least you know your girl pretty much gets smashed and wanders the streets looking for a guy to take her in for the night. it's better to be unsafe than home. :S Link to comment
Lionel Hutz Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I'd ask a few more questions. Why No cab? Why no call? Why so many drinks? Why not better planning? I get faced in public sometimes but can always manage to wake up on my kitchen floor at least. Make sure you ask all the right questions and make it clear that you are not okay with it. Let her know she can create serious trust issues and dont take your benefit of the doubt for granted. Could you fall asleep at a girls house because you drank too much? Thats the real question. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 'i woke up naked. but i know nothing happened. i grabbed my clothes and left.' what would you think then? Link to comment
chocolate-cake Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 rediculous...i dont think she cheated because why would u bother to confess all that, but she sounds irresponsible and how can u get so drunk and talk to a random guy wen u have a boyfriend n go to the toilet with him where were here friends!!??? can sm1 give me the link for the who does that thread plz!! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I agree with your statement. but not about the part about her confessing makes it truthful though. it's still 50/50 to me. Link to comment
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